The Long and Winding Road.....

Who Stops Grocery Clerk Abuse?

2010-05-25T21:13:00.001-07:00

Joys of parenthood

2010-05-17T21:08:00.002-07:00

DON'T BE DECEIVED BY THIS SWEET FACE (but seriously, isn't he adorable?):

SOMETIMES IT CAN BE HIDING THIS:

Which ones are yours?

2010-04-19T16:13:00.003-07:00

Okay, it is finally time for a post about what NOT to say to a foster parent. Many of these things also crossover for what not to say to an adoptive parent, but for now, we'll focus on fostering. For the most part, I don't get upset when confronted with an ignorant comment. goes back to the intention vs. perception stuff. But seriously, I just want to give the world a lesson somedays. Since this is my only soapbox, here are the things I would teach the world (after teaching them to sing and buying them a Coke, of course).

1. People ask me all the time "which ones are yours?" - meaning which ones are foster children. It is typically asked in front of all my kids. Don't do it. Just don't. It's extremely rude to ALL of my children. Do you realize how that makes them feel? While they are in my home, they are treated like they are my children. If they are in our home as foster children, they already feel like they don't have a place where they belong. We are doing our best to balance their lives between our home and their birth home. They typically (in my experience anyway) want desperately to be a part of a family, and not be set apart from the family they are with. They also remain extremely loyal to their birth family, and don't want to feel pressured to forget them in any way. It is a delicate balancing act, and asking a question like this just reminds them once more that they are different, and not in a quirky, fun sort of way. For my kids that are adopted- it makes them feel like they are not worthy of being called mine because they were adopted. They don't make any distiction between themselves and our foster children, because we as parents don't. My answer to this question is typically "They are all mine, I just didn't give birth to any of them".

genetics are over rated. These are my kids. I am their mom, whether it be forever or for a while.

2. The most common response I hear upon others learning we are foster parents is
"I could never do that, I'd get too attached"
or " " " " I couldn't give them back"
or " " " " it would be too hard" "it would break my heart" etc...

Do you seriously think we have steeled our hearts so we don't get attached? Of COURSE we get attached. I mourn each child that leaves. I cry. I pout. I rant abou the unfairness of the system. and then we turn around and do it again. Why? because it's not about me. A child- an innocent child, needs a home. sometimes for a few days, sometimes for a few months, sometimes for a few years. And MOST of the time, they go back home. You are not given a choice about this. You can't just keep them because you WANT to. You have to give them back. It IS hard. It DOES break my heart. Every. Single. Time. Somebody asked me once if I ever got used to the heartache. Nope. I hope I never do. If we get used to it, it is time to stop. The boy we had the longest before going home was here for 7 months. I'll call him little T. He was actually placed with us as a "tentative" adoptive placement. He'd been in foster care in another placement since his birth, and came to us around 6 months of age. The birth parents were non-compliant with the case plan, and the case worker was going to ask for severance. That was a wake-up call for his birth mom, who started doing what was needed to have little T (and his 4 older siblings) come home. As devastating as it was to pack up all of little T's things, and put him in the caseworker's van, we are so thankful for the time we had with him. And it felt good to be a part of putting his family back together again. I sent him with a billion pictures and a 5 page letter to his mom, describing all his milestones and accomplishments while at my house, and gave her all our contact info. Amazingly, his mom called me after he'd been back home for about 6 months to let us know how he was doing. This is NOT typical, but I am so thrilled to still get occassional updates and pictures of our little man. So my advice to anyone considering fostering... or even adopting, is to NOT make the birth parents the enemy. In a perfect world, you all work together to do what is best for the child. It doesn't always work out that way, but sometimes it does. We choose hope most days. Sending them back home IS what you signed up for as a foster parent. like it or not. Just think of the story of the little red hen. If we don't do it, who will?
And for the record, we don't think everyone could or should be foster parents. It's not easy. It's not for everyone. Only you can decide what's best for your entire family, and hopefully you make it a matter of prayer. I do wish more people would at least put aside their fears of the unknown and at least consider it. Maybe give it a shot. I always tell my 7 year old that it is okay to fail, but it isn't okay to just not try.

3. "Will you get to adopt them?" - The short answer is No. That is not why we foster. It is not a means to an end for us. There are Fost/adopt families. Those are families that take foster children that have already had their parental rights severed. Sometimes the kiddos are "legal risk" placements, meaning their parental right have NOT been severed yet, but they are expected to be. But we are just regular ole foster parents. MOST children in foster care are eventually returned to their birth parents, or end up in a relative placement. IF the children in our care become available for adoption, we are an adoptive family as well, So we jump at the chance to adopt them if we can. But we say all the time "it's not over 'til it's over". Even if they become available for adoption, it is not a given that we would be able to adopt them. Sometimes a long lost relative will step forward, or the judge will decide a different placement is best (not all foster families even want to adopt).

4. "Why are they in care? is it drugs?" Please don't be offended when I tell you that it is none of your business. I'll try to say it in a nicer way than that, really! Our foster children have a right to privacy (the same reason I don't post their names or pictures). That information is on a strictly "need to know" basis, and there are very few people that need to know. However, once I went overboard with my "need to know" rules. I had a friend watch a little guy for me that had been drug exposed and still had occassional tremors. I forgot to mention the tremors, because they weren't anything to worry about. She didn't know that. She thought he was having seizures. So, even though his drug exposure wasn't necessary for her to know, the fact that he was having tremors would have been helpful so she wouldn't have worried so much. Thankfully she was able to reach me before she called an ambulance.

5. "You are so special/ a saint/ wonderful for doing this." Okay, stop. seriously, just stop. It makes us uncomfortable. We are not wonderful/ fantastic/ special for doing this. We do it for so many reasons, but none of those reasons are the kudos we get from our peers. We don't feel superior to you in any way. You don't have to feel guilty for not doing what we do. We recognize this is not an easy path, and not for everyone. That doesn't make us better that you, just different than you. And different is good. it is neccessary. However, we love what we do, so we will talk about it. We will express how much we wish there were more good families that would step up to foster kids (there are still WAY too many group homes/ crisis centers, not enough foster families). That is not some underhanded comment on how we think YOU should do it. That is between you, your family, and God. Mostly, we do it because we love kids. We even love the chaos that follows any new placement in our home. We know that even though the foster care system is maddeningly frustrating and far from perfect, it is FAR SUPERIOR to the alternatives.
a few of the alternatives:
-staying in an abusive/ neglectful/ unsafe environment
-going to a group home/ shelter/ crisis center
-going back to the "old days" of children's homes/ institutions where they are warehoused. Most of the rest of the world still uses this option. Trust me. the foster care system is better.
I've had people cite the broken foster care system as their reason for not getting involved. If something is broken, it won't get fixed by your refusal to help fix it. Be a part of the solution.

6. "did you hear about..." some sordid story on the news about something horrible a foster family did to one of their foster children. Blah, blah, blah. All that is EVER shown on TV, whether it be the local news, or the latest episode of Law & Order, is the negative. I am so weary of all the bad press foster parents get, portraying us all as money grubbing, child abusing, psychopathic pedophiles who foster for all the wrong reasons. The vast majority of foster parents are good, honest, hard working families trying to make a difference in the life of a child. Every foster parent I've ever met is doing their best to PARENT a child they didn't give birth to, trying to figure out how to help a child whose brain has been compromised by drugs/ alcohol consumed in utero, trying to help them overcome the effects of various abuses and neglect, helping them work past feelings of abandonment, advocating for them in school, trying to teach a 2 year old that MOMMY pours the cereal and milk in the bowl, because they should be too young to do it, but learned how to out of necessity, and trying to teach a 6 year old that it's okay to be a kid first. So give us a break.

7. "Is it worth it?" yes. yes. yes. yes. YES!!! "Have you thought of the effect this will have on your kids?" yes. of course. But do you know what I see happening to my kids? Yes, they get heartbroken when kids leave too (My Luke still asks about little T on a weekly basis, and T hasn't lived here for about a year and a half). But they are so kind to other children. They worry about feelings. They are empathetic to the suffering of others. They can't stand to think that there are children in this world without a safe place, or without a family. Luke constantly requests that we go find "summore" kids without a family and bring them to our house. And don't you dare tell my kids that the kids we foster aren't "real" siblings. They love unconditionally. So much so, that I frequently get requests to adopt their best friends. The fact that their friends already live in a stable, loving environment with their own parents does not deter my kids in anyway from thinking they belong in our family. THIS is the effect it is having on our kids. They know that sometimes kids don't come to stay. sometimes, we just can't adopt them. We usually blame it on "the judge". Mostly, in order to explain it in a way that even our 4 year old can understand, we tell them the kids are here while their parents work on some "things" and when the parents "get better", the kids can go back home. Our kids are still at an age where we can be wonderfully vague. We emphasize that we'll always love them and miss them, but they need to go back home so their birth family can be together again. We keep pictures up of all they munchkins we have ever fostered, and the kids like that they can look at the pictures and remember the "brother that used to be". Our current 8 year old foster daughter (we typically just call her daughter, but for the sake of explanation we sometimes have to add the 'foster') is fascinated by the pictures. right now, because they (the 8 year old and her 18 month old little sister) live in our house, their big 8x10 picture is up right next to the rest of the kids' pictures. Then we have a frame with several 4x6 openings where we keep pictures of those that have come and gone. She asks me if we'll put her picture there when she is gone. I assure her we will, and she feels comforted knowing that we will never, ever forget her. Her time here counted. She was somebody here. She was not a cipher. She was not a lowly foster child. She was a beloved daughter. When she goes home, we'll write her a long letter too. We'll send lots of photos and all our contact info. And then we'll pray that somewhere along the way, we'll hear about how she is doing, and if us teaching her about family, about God, about love made a difference in her life. And if we never hear, we just hope.

Before we became foster parents, Scott and I made it a matter of much prayer and fasting. We didn't have any children at the time, and it was a little scary to think about parenting a child with "issues". But we felt an overhwhelming "YES" when we questioned the Lord if we should do this crazy thing. And then almost immediately into my head popped my own little version of The Cat in the Hat Comes Back.
Somebody, somebody has to you see,
then HE picked out two somebodies,
Scotty and me.

Of the 9 children we have fostered, we have 2 of them still currently with us (for 15 months now), 5 have gone back to their family, and we were blessed enough to adopt 2. And our decision to be foster parents has opened up SO many other doors to adoption. It has been an amazing journey.
The first 2 boys we fostered are the 2 we were able to adopt
our next son was adopted (due to a miracle- or a series of miracles)from the same agency, but was not a foster placement, strictly adoption.
One adopted from an agency in Illinois
one private adoption (from disruption)
and one adoption from another state's (Texas) foster care.

We love it. We look forward to years and years of being foster parents. I hope I don't get jaded. I hope I don't ever refuse to get attached. I hope I have the strength (mental, spiritual) to do this for a long time. All I know for sure is that right now, it is the right thing for us.
Have I told you anything useful?

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

2010-03-09T11:53:00.003-07:00

My munchkins continually amaze me. We have been working so hard at getting Dylan to spoon feed himself, and the other day at lunch, he was finally doing it. So at dinner, I was showing all the other kids Dylan's new accomplishment. It warmed my heart to see how absolutely thrilled they were! seriously, I almost teared up. I love how they are so supportive of their little brother. They were cheering and clapping and jumping up and down. You would have thought he had just won an olympic gold medal!

This attitude of joy and support has carried over to our families next adventure. We are adopting a 15 year old girl with Down syndrome. Meet Haley:

These will be the only pictures I'll post of her for a while. The only reason I can post these is because they were already publicly posted on her adoption site. We were matched with her clear last July, but didn't get to meet her for the first time until this past weekend. She is a sweetheart. She also has plenty of stubborness! Just like our litte Dylan. She will be coming to stay THIS SATURDAY!! finally! We are thrilled to add Haley to our family. When we talked to the kids about her, they were all so excited to have a BIG sister. Landon (our oldest) was the most excited. I love that being the oldest was not part of his identity, or how he sees himself. He has said so many times that he can't wait to have a big sister. Technically, our little "A", whom we are fostering, is older than Landon, but only by 7 months. So he doesn't really see her as a big sister. They are great friends, though.
Luke, who truly has a heart for adoption, can't stand the thought of there being kids out there without a family. We'll load him in the big van (that has 4 empty seats, 3 empty starting Saturday!) and he'll ask when we're going to pick up more kids that need a family. Awww... If only it were that easy. We only have one more adoption in the works, so to speak (Serbia), and then we'll see.
I love the fact that we've been able to grow our family so quickly. It means no one has time to get settled into their "role" in our family, which is good, because that role may change quickly. That's just the nature of being a foster family. We don't go into any adoption blindly. Scott and I always talk it through, the changes it will mean to lifestyle, practical things like the increase in laundry, grocery bills, etc. And we pray. A lot. Mostly, we talk about the effect it will have on our children. Good thing we have such great kids. One thing a large family teaches just by being part of it, is selflessness. Instead of our kids wondering if they'll have to share a room, they are fighting over who GETS to share a room. "A" was quite put out when we told her that Haley would not be sharing her room, she was going to have her own room for a while. She WANTS to share her room. She is already trying to build a sister bond with a girl she has yet to meet.
Our munchkins have brought us change they found on the ground and asked if we could use that money for an adoption. How is that for pulling together? Our kids don't care about stuff, or nice vacations. They just love being together-- most of the time!
And to quote one of our favorite movies (because it has a great adoption message) "Meet the Robinsons" -- We'll just Keep Moving Forward!

The Science Center part 2

2010-03-01T12:09:00.007-07:00

I did it. I took the kids to the science center again. What can I say? We got free tickets and I'm a sucker for anything free. This time everything went according to plan! Scott couldn't come (only 3 more months of Scott missing out on all the fun!) but other than that, we had a great time. I parked in the parking garage this time, and it only cost $3 after getting the ticket validated. I watched my speed on the little stretch of interstate that is only 55 mph, so I shouldn't be getting a surprise ticket in the mail either! All the munchkins were well behaved, and everyone was exhausted when the day was done. I had them all wear their Beatles shirts, and got lots of comments. Some people even asked where the Beatles display in the museum was, so they could get shirts. Um, no display, just a mom who's a fan. And this time I got some pictures!!

"A" and Stix were with us, but I still can't post pictures of them :o(

So here are the boys!

on the top pics, they are on a "bed of nails". the dino in the bottom pictures is made from legos! they were having a lego competition, and got to watch a master builder make a city. It was a dream come true for my little lego maniacs.

Hippotherapy

2010-02-17T15:07:00.003-07:00

Dylan's Occupational Therapist (who we LOVE!) was giving us some ideas for strengthening his core muscles. She would really like us to have Dylan do Hippotherapy. Also called Equine therapy. Or for us plain talkers, horse therapy. There is one small problem with this plan. Actually, it is quite a large problem. I have a serious allergy to horses. Very serious. I can't be anywhere near a horse. I can't be near anyone who has recently been on a horse. I can't be in a room where there has recently been a person who was on a horse. If I am near a horse, or a person who has been on a horse, or in a room where there has been a person who was on a horse, I swell up and struggle to breathe. Ever see the movie Hitch? When he eats the shellfish? it's kinda like that. Only it's not so funny in real life. I've never done anything about it, because it is very easy to stay away from horses. People with other serious allergies, such as a peanut or bee allergy can't control being stung by a bee or exposed to a peanut product. I can control being around horses. But now I'm trying to decide if it is worth going to an allergist, getting shots, to try to become desensitized. I'm pretty sure that would take quite a while. For now we are looking at alternatives to hippotherapy. They have a machine called igallop that simulates horseback riding. since the pricetag is quite hefty, we'll be calling around to see if there are any clinics that have one. If so, we'll see if we can get approval for that. But if hippotherapy will have better long term effects for Dylan, I guess I'll drop trou for those monthly shots. Oh, joy. Here is a picture of Dylan during another OT activity. He also happens to be signing "mom". He is such a smart boy, and knows 25-30 signs. He is also getting more vocal... finally! We finally have a good Speech therapist!
Here he is signing "dad"

Have you ever seen a cuter boy?

My son, my sun

2010-02-07T19:01:00.003-07:00

Luke recently celebrated his 5th birthday. we have been parents for nearly 5 years. Amazing. Luke is the first baby we ever had. He was 2 months old on our first day with him. His big brother Landon was 2 1/2 and came to live with us just 2 days prior to Luke's arrival. He was a sweet little bundle. He was pretty tiny- at least he seemed small at the time. He had a very reddish complexion, and people were constantly asking what his nationality was. He had a bunch of soft, straight black hair. And he cried. all. the. time. He was stiff, and would shudder from time to time. We did lots of stretches with him to loosen his muscles, and the shudders stopped after about a month. He had us all fascinated and completely in love with him from the first moment, which was a really good thing. Did I mention all the crying? Luke was not a great sleeper. He had to be swaddled TIGHT in order to get any sleep at all. His little arms were very jerky, and he'd punch himself in the face even while he slept and wake himself up squalling. We considered ourselves lucky if he slept for a 3 hour stretch. Scott and I had Luke "shifts". We often fell asleep in the recliner with Luke on our chest, because we were so exhausted. He didn't nap well. mostly, he just cried. Until he was about 6 months old. Then, blissfully, the crying stopped. He started sleeping through the night. And he started smiling. all. the. time. I tell people he cried for the first 6 months of his life, but he's spent every day since then making up for it. Luke is one happy, crazy, wild, exuberant, joyful boy. He makes it very hard to ever be mad at him. Even his siblings put up with more from Luke because he just has such a happy spirit. here are some recent Luke-isms. Dylan fell off his little ride on toy, and Luke beat me to him, snuggling him and saying "oh, sweetheart, are you ok?". We had Luke's birthday party the Saturday before his birthday, so on his actual birthday I let him choose what he wanted for dessert. He chose chocolate chip cookies, which he then helped me make. After dinner, I got out the ice cream, and brought the nice warm cookies to the table. I asked luke if he wanted ice cream with his cookie, and he said he just wanted ice cream. I asked why he wanted me to make the cookies if he didn't want to eat them. He asked if he could whisper it in my ear. So I leaned over, and he whispered "so everyone else could have them". What lessons I learn from this sweet boy. My sweet son loves to put his cheek on mine and sing "Dear Prudence" and "You'll Be in My Heart" with me. He loves to sit and watch Star Trek with me. He's the first to run in and say Good morning, Mom! He's rarely grumpy. He is my little ray of sunshine and I'm so thankful he will forever be my son!

Trust Issues

2010-02-01T12:41:00.002-07:00

Poor Dylan doesn't trust his mommy anymore. He was on antibiotics again recently for a sinus infection. He is very prone to them. we are going to start using saline drops in his nose daily to see if that will help. He hates taking medicine. right before the sinus infection, he had croup. We asked for the steroid shot, because trying to get him to take oral meds is NOT fun. But for the sinus infection, they gave him oral antibiotics. And then the fun begins. If we try to force him, he just gags and throws up everywhere, so we have to be sneaky. The second he sees the syringe, he starts going into fits. So this last time, I tried hiding the medicine in his food. I'd put a little food on his spoon, squirt a little medicine on his spoon and give it to him. He didn't like it, but he tolerated it for 2 whole days (thank heavens this medicine is just once a day for 5 days). Then he decided he was done with that trick. He wouldn't eat any food at all. We had to fight the other days to get his meds down him at all. and mostly he spit them back out. But he got better and that is all I really care about. But he still doesn't trust me at mealtime. We don't feed him much food from a jar anymore. Because he has oral sensitivities, and didn't get any teeth until he was nearly 2, and still only has 4 teeth (all molars), he is not eating a lot of solids. He gags on anything too lumpy. So his meal preparation is not for the weak of stomach. I take whatever leftovers we have and use my hand blender to mix them up. I use applesauce, juice or a jar of baby food to make it a little smoother. For instance, todays meal was blended pork roast, carrots and potatoes from last night's dinner, with applesauce to smooth it out. I try to make sure we always have a protein, fruit, and vegetable in his meal. There is usually some sort of starch for bulk (rice, potatoes, noodles, or crackers if nothing else). yesterdays meal was Mac-n-cheese with peanut butter and applesauce. I know it sounds disgusting, but we do what it takes. sometimes that means refried beans or navy beans with sweet potatoes and bananas. Like I said, his meal preparation is not for the weak of stomach. Anyway, We keep jars of baby food on hand for times that we are going to be away from home at mealtime, or to help smooth out his blended concoctions. But now he won't eat his blended concoctions. He has been off the meds for a week and he still doesn't trust that I didn't put meds in his food. The only way he'll eat it is if he SEES me open a new jar of baby food and feed him directly from the jar. The good news is that after a few bites from the jar, he will eat his blended food. But if I dare try to feed him a bite of his blended food first, he starts shaking his head, kicking his legs, and swinging his arms. Hmmm..... Temper much? How do I get my sweet boy to trust me again??? I can't promise never to hide meds in his food again. I guess I just have to live with the consequences. Good thing he's so adorable.

Intention Vs. Perception

2010-01-24T16:39:00.010-07:00

This is a topic I have been thinking a lot about lately. This is how it started. A good friend of mine from high school, whom I reconnected with via Facebook, has just started the adoption process of a girl from Ethiopia. I'll call him K. He is SO excited about the prospect of adoption, and shared this in a FB post, stating he was excited to have another little brown girl in his family. He is white, his wife is black, and his wife has a daughter from a previous relationship. His first wife was from S. America, and he has 2 biological children with her. So all 3 of his current children are quite a bit darker than his own pale skin. When I read his "brown girl" comment, I knew exactly what he meant, and could feel the love he infused in those words. Another friend I'll call R (also from HS), chastised him for labeling her brown, and said color shouldn't matter, we are all Humans. Hmmmmm..... I mostly agree with R, color DOESN'T matter, we all ARE human. But K was not "labeling" his new child-to-be. He was using a loving, descriptive word. We all infuse our language with descriptive words, don't we? I can't ever call my Jacob just Jacob. He is always my sweet Jacob, my precious Jacob, my little angel, etc. I had to respond with this:

I call my boys little brown boys from time to time. Color absolutely doesn't matter, that's why it is a term of endearment. When they ask why their skin is a different color than mine, I tell them God gave them an upgrage. heritage doesn't matter either, but I still refer to my child of russian descent as my little russian. And my redhead is always my little redhead. "labels" are what you make of them. We make very little of them in our multi-cultural family. Good luck getting your little brown girl, K!

To make R's comments clear, I'll state that he is black. I was not trying to offend him, just trying to show him how it was no one's INTENTION to "label" a child, just using a descriptive word for her. R commented back with:

Well coming from Casper I experienced some of the most harsh racism being that my family was pretty much the only African American family on the east side. Sitting in social studies and having the whole class stare at me when the term negro was said! My children are bi-cultural and I am instilling in them that we are all Gods children and color doesn't matter. I call them by their name!

First, that made me laugh. I rarely call my kids by just their names. It's a bad habit I have, but I like pet names. A lot of times it is some form of their name (Luke Skywalker, Lando Calrissian, and Darth Nater are a few of my faves, along with Dylan Bob). I'd wanted to comment back to R on this topic of intention vs. perception, but felt like having this conversation on K's fb page could get out of control, so I left it alone, and K ended the discussion with a very eloquent and succinct response. But this topic has been brewing in my head ever since. I'm sure as one of a handfull of black kids in our high school (no, he wasn't the only one as he stated, but there were probably only about a dozen), R felt ill at ease when stared at by an entire class when the term Negro was said. And I obviously can't speak to the level of racism he endured. It was my perception in high school that most of the black kids were pretty much popular and well liked, But I'm sure there were exceptions. However, I don't feel like a social studies class that turned to stare at him when the term Negro was used had the intent of racism. I think that by being the only black kid in that class, that was how he perceived it. Perhaps they were looking to him for some guidance on how to react to the word? was the word used as slander against him personally? or was the word used in a historically accurate sense, as this was social studies class. I think "labeling" the whole class racist does a disservice to everyone there. I find this topic interesting, because I want to understand my own kids better, and prepare them for the future when they are sitting in some history, social studies, or even english class, and the term Negro is used. How will they react? how will they perceive the reactions of those around them? will they take the opportunity to educate others on how they should feel about the word Negro? or will they slink in their chairs, and hold a grudge against those in that class for 18+ years? I want to teach them HISTORY!! The word Negro is nothing to be offended at, when used appropriately, and is historically accurate. There is another "N" word -a slang term, you all know which one- that is highly offensive. Unfortunately, the only people I hear using that word these days, are black people. How sad. But nevertheless, I want my kids to know these words, and how to respond to the use of these words appropriately. The biggest lesson I want to teach them is to not get offended, not only when the offense is not intended, but especially when offense IS intended. The whole kindergarten sticks-n-stones theory.

This applies to the use of the word Retarded as well. When used appropriately, I don't have much of a problem with it. Unfortunately, it is rarely used appropriately these days. If you are a medical professional, using the term in a medical context, fine. The Dictionary meaning of Retard is to make slow, or to delay. So if you are telling me how you are going to stick your pre-teen son in a box in order to retard his growth, I will laugh with you. If you say the new movie out is so retarded, I'm going to take a minute to educate you. Retarded does NOT mean stupid. So when I hear the term retarded used as slang, do I get offended? nope. I know it is not most people's intent to be offensive, it is just a word they use out of ignorance and habit. I just feel sorry for the person using it, and and ask them to use a different word.

I am not big on Political correctness, as evidenced by my reticense to use the term African American instead of black. I don't call myself Welsh american, I don't call Dylan Russian American, I didn't call Jacob Native American. I am just an American. Dylan is American, and I will refer to his heritage as Russian (yes, sometimes I call him my little Russian, but never as Russian American. His immediate birth family is Russian). Jacob was American, and referred to his heritage as 1/2 Blackfoot Indian tribe (his birthmother was Blackfoot Indian). Landon and Luke and Nate are just American. Their ancestors have been in this country a LONG time. I don't find it necessary to refer to their heritage. someday, maybe we'll get to trace their roots, and see what exactly their heritage is. for now, when decribing my one of my brown sons, I will continue to use a descriptive term for them, as I would for any of my other children.

This PC term of African American irritated a college friend of mine to no end. She was black, born in Africa, raised in England, and came to US for school. So she wasn't American at all. Did she consider herself African English? no, she was just English. How about my niece? she is American. She happens to have been born in Haiti. Her heritage is Haitian. Her immediate birth family is in Haiti. Her nationality is American. My little Luke had a very reddish tint to his skin when he was a baby, and had thick, straight black hair (he didn't start getting his curls until he was a year old). He did look a bit like he was from India for a while. But it cracked me up when people would say "what is his nationality?" I knew what they meant, but he is from the nation of America! so I would say he's American. When they would stutter and say "no, I mean, Um, uh... " I usually helped them out by saying he was black. I never got offended, but I did get amused quite frequently.

So any other thoughts? to me using the term brown, or black is a descriptive word, the same as saying someone has brown eyes, or red hair, or are short, or are sweet. It is not my INTENT to offend. Your perceptions will color your life, and ultimately you are in control of how you perceive the things people say, and how you react to them.

Wow, this is what happens when I let things stew for a while before getting them off my mind.

Here are some pictures of my beautiful little brown boys, and my beautiful little white boy.

2009-12-20T23:00:00.005-07:00

Landon's version of Jolly Old St. Nicholas. So funny. Listen carefully in the second verse and he'll tell you his opinion of the gifts he gets from Santa....

Yes, you heard it right. "Down the chimney broad and black, with your CRAP you'll creep."

Actually, I'm not sure what I like best about this video... His version of the song, or the outfit he's wearing. After he was asleep, I laid out his green sweatshirt in case he wanted to wear it. Of course, I assumed he'd wear it over his t-shirt like most people, but not Landon. He has his own sense of style.

The same day he brought home this ornament for the tree:

According to Landon, it is a zombie snowman with blood running down it. Nice. gotta love the imagination. NO, our children do not watch zombie movies. They don't watch anything rated higher than PG. But they do go to public school. :O)

While we are having a Landon themed post, Here is a picture of my little Shark boy, with his permanent teeth coming in behind his baby teeth. Those baby teeth are just not in a hurry to come out. He has a dentist appt. on Wed, and can probably get them pulled then. I am envisioning high orthodontic bills when he is older. Oi.

build a little birdhouse in your soul

2009-12-15T23:45:00.004-07:00

When my oldest sister (who is much, MUCH older than me) turned 50 in October, we bought her fun toys and childish things to keep her in touch with her youth. One of the things we got her was a sock monkey. We had to take it out of the original packaging in order to fit it in the box we were shipping. My sweet little Luke, who must be a bit like me in that he does not like to waste things, came and asked if we could make a birdhouse out of the sock monkey box. Hmmm. Why not? What a clever boy he is. He folded the top over, had me tape it together, then got a little lid to put water in, and some sunflower seeds. We stuck a string through it, and tied it to our tree out front. for 3 days, he went outside to look everyday to see if a bird was living in it yet. I kept trying to explain that the birds don't stay in their houses, they go fly around. Then Sunday came. As we were pulling into our driveway after church, I saw a bird in Luke's birdhouse!!! I was so excited to show him. Scott stopped the van, and we all watched the bird hop in and out, and all around the bird house. Luke was over the moon! It was so cute. I actually had my camera in the diaper bag, and tried to get a picture of the bird by the house, but it didn't turn out ;o(

here is the birdhouse. The picture is a little grainy because I was trying to take it through the window glass. I knew the bird would fly away if I rolled down the window.

Ronald needs a forever family!

2009-12-14T21:56:00.002-07:00

Look who I found on AdoptUsKids.org
http://www.adoptuskids.org/child/ChildDetail.aspx?tabid=1&id=35354

Oh, my gosh! He is one handsome fella, and he needs a home. click on the link under his picture to watch a video of him. He has really grabbed my heart. If we weren't in the middle of bringing home a different older child, I would have already called on him. Oh, my gosh! I'm not going to sleep until he has a home. Does anyone in blogland know anyone who could be his family?

The DMV: A True Story

2009-12-03T22:57:00.002-07:00

So Scott had to go get plates for our new van (the big 12-passenger kind). Below is a breif summary of the transaction.
DMV: After applying the credit from the plates on the vehicle you just sold, you still have a $12.59 credit, so we'll send you a check.
Scott: can we just apply the credit toward our next plate renewal?
DMV: No, sorry, we have to process the refund.
Scott: so, you are going to send me a check for $12.59?
DMV: No, there is a processing fee of $12.00.
Scott: There is a processing fee of $12.00 on a refund of $12.59?
DMV: correct.
Scott: So you are actually going to send me a check for $ .59?
DMV: correct.
Scott: yeah. makes sense.

Anyone else have a love/hate relationship with their DMV?

Reece's Rainbow Christmas Angel Tree 2009

2009-12-02T20:37:00.003-07:00

I decided not to choose a child to sponsor until December because we were just fundraising for our local DS Network at the end of October, and November felt like it was too soon to start asking people for money again. Traditionally, we've chosen another child from Serbia to sponsor. No, we still do not have any word on "our" girl. But anyway, I've looked at all the beautiful faces, and the winner of the Spencer family sponsorship is..........

"Lisette"!

No, I didn't make that up. most of the kids are assigned a pseudonym due to country restrictions of posting their real name. And they gave her my name! Andrea (fearless leader of Reece's Rainbow) likes my name apparently. I think she's trying to send me subliminal messages. Now that Serbia is allowing familes to come back a 2nd time, we are being encouraged to consider adopting a different child, and go back for Aunika when she becomes available. Hmmm..... something to consider/ pray about. In the meantime, we'll be taking some of our meager savings for Christmas and donating it to "Lisette's" grant fund. I hope she finds a family soon!

CH-CH-CH-CHANGES!

2009-12-02T20:03:00.004-07:00

One more adoption complete in the Spencer family! Welcome, sweet Nate! Nathan Brent Spencer joined our family in Nov. 08, and his adoption was final Nov. 09. He is a sweet boy, and fits right in. He and Luke (both 4 years old) are partners in crime, but Nate is definitely a lot calmer. With the two girls we are fostering, we now have 2- 7 year olds, 2- 4 year olds, and 2- 1 year olds. What can I say? we like to keep things interesting.

Good Question

2009-08-26T09:21:00.002-07:00

I got a good question on one of my recent posts. It was.. "Are you still adopting the little angel with Down Syndrome?"

Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for asking. I don't blog much about our little daughter because I get so discouraged. We have been wanting and waiting to adopt her for well over 2 years now. Our little girl has still not been cleared for international adoption. We did not know she was not officially cleared at the time we committed to adopt her. We have had a very hard time lately deciding what to do. Our options as we see them are:
1. Continue to wait for the beautiful girl we have loved and waited for, and continue to pray that she will someday come home to us.
2. Go to the same country to adopt a different child. This is the easiest and the hardest choice. easiest due to paperwork- we are already approved for adoption in that country and wouldn't have to re-do any paperwork. Hardest because we would be in the same country as the girl we already consider our daughter, and not be able to bring her home. We consider this choice only because we hope we would get to see her, hold her, tell her we love her, and continue to hope that SOMEDAY we'd be able to come back for her. We don't really feel this would be so fair to the new child we would adopt from there. Our focus would be split. If we felt a strong pull to another child in the same orphanage, we would consider this option, go for the new child, and hope to someday go back.
3. switch countries all together and start over again. We have strongly considered this option. We feel a pull to Ethiopia, but so far have not found a child we are pulled to. We feel like we will some day adopt from Ethiopia, but so far, that day is not today.

So far, we have opted for #1. We'll see what our future holds. For now, we continue to grow with adoptions from the US. We are still working on "N"s adoption. His severance trial is tomorrow, and hopefully the adoption trial in a month. He does not have Down Syndrome. He will be 4 in about a week and a half. After his adoption is final, we'll post his name and pictures.

And I will be making an announcement very shortly about another upcoming adoption in our household! Stay tuned.... (I'm waiting until I have more details about when this child will be coming home before I make the official announcement).

Plus, we are still a foster family, so we still have borrowed children from time to time. I do not post about them much due to privacy issues.

Updates on our boys-- N and Luke are in preschool and doing very well-- 3 afternoons a week. They love it. Landon is also doing amazing in school. I love watching him blossom. His favorite thing to do is draw, and he is getting quite good at it.

And Dylan. Our sweet angel with Down syndrome that is already home. HE IS WALKING!!!! well, starting to anyway! he is up to about 8-10 steps at a time. AND he has a tooth, finally-- a molar! AND he is climbing up the stairs all by himself. AND he can climb onto all the furniture. Oh, goodie! another little monkey boy around the house! He is such a doll. He is by far my busiest child. I thought Luke was busy, but Dylan puts Luke to shame. I chase him around all day, getting him off furniture, off the stairs (Scott installed a gate last night), out of the cupboards, etc. He loves watching Signing Time videos, and is learning! He signs "more, eat, ball, music, and all done". "more and eat" are the only two he does perfectly, the others are his version of the sign, but that's okay for now. He is a little smarty pants. I will try to get a video of him walking soon and post it. so cute.

Oh, and about the last post-- our mommy bird flew away and never came back. I'm sure something happened to her. so no baby birds were able to hatch :o(

the uninvited guest

2009-07-13T18:21:00.004-07:00

maybe uninvited, yet welcome just the same.

A few weeks ago, Scott laid a couple of boards across our dog's kennel and put a few yard tools up there to keep them away from the kids. We bought a small shed for this purpose, but is isn't put up yet. Anyway, he went out to mow our Jungle, I mean our lawn, and first went to grab the orange extension cord from the top of the boards. He just about touched this little ladies head before she flew away.

Is that a nest up there in those cords?

Yep! And this single egg has since been joined by a second egg. My kids love looking out the window each day to see if the little mommy dove is on her nest. I'm thinking she might be rather a lazy little bird by the looks of that nest, or maybe just very clever to use the power cord to save her some work. All together, my kind of bird!

She is quite diligent in her sitting, though I'm sure the AZ sun keeps that egg plenty warm while she's off eating. And she never strays far. We see her sitting on the neighbors roof from time to time, keeping an eye on things. It will sure be fun to see the end product! I wonder how long Dove eggs take to hatch? sounds like a great computer research project for the kiddos, who only have 2 weeks until school begins.

The best laid plans ....

2009-06-05T12:07:00.010-07:00

So Wednesday was my birthday. I hesitated to post this, as I did not want to sound self-aggrandizing. But something funny happened. Scott took the day off, so I had a lovely sleep-in. When I finally dragged myself out of bed, Scott made me yummy french toast... My favorite! I was in no hurry to do anything, so I was still lounging in my pajamas when my sister called me to tell me happy birthday. We chatted for a few minutes, then my doorbell rang. My sister said "Oh, go ahead and answer the door, I'll wait". I looked down at my disheveled pajamas, and had already caught a glimpse of what I looked like in the mirror. I had smeared mascara from the day before around my eyes, had yet to brush my teeth, and had a lovely "flock of seagulls" hairdo. so I said "I'm not answering the door!".
Scott was home, and on his way to answer the door, but LeAnn didn't realize this. Here is how the conversation commenced:
LeAnn: Oh, no, go ahead and answer the door
me: No, S...
LeAnn: Lisette, you have to answer the door
me: I....
LeAnn: LISETTE, TRUST ME, JUST ANSWER THE DOOR!
me: LeANN! Scott is answering the door!
LeAnn: Oh. Okay. I didn't realize he was home. Tell him it's not a mistake.
me: tell him what is not a mistake?
LeAnn: Just tell him before he sends them away. Just say it's not a mistake.
Me: (I'm in the other room, scott can hear me, but not see me) Scott, LeAnn says it's not a mistake, if that means anything.
Scott: Okay. (nothing else, just Okay)
Me: so what's the deal?
LeAnn: Well, I didn't get you a birthday present sent, so I ordered pizza to be delivered to your house for lunch. Then I realized I'd better call at the time it was supposed to be delivered so you wouldn't send the delivery person away thinking it was a mistake. (that sounds like something I'd do)
me: OH!! How sweet, thank you! (then Scott walks around the corner)
Me to Scott: Where's the pizza?
Scott: What pizza?
me: the pizza that was just delivered?
Scott: That wasn't pizza, it was the bug guy.

I just started laughing. LeAnn outed herself for no reason. The pizza guy didn't come for another 10 minutes, but at least we knew not to send him away. Maybe this is one of those "you had to be there" moments, but it was really funny. What are the chances that the bug guy comes at the same time the surprise pizza guy is supposed to come? And what in the world was Scott thinking when I told him it wasn't a mistake? And he just answered Okay. Like this is some sort of ongoing cryptic conversation we always have.

Oh, well. The pizza came, we all had a good laugh, and the rest of the day was lovely.
Scott had my sister-in-law come over to watch the Munchkins (thanks, Misty!) and took me to see the new Star Trek movie, which I had been wanting to see since it came out. I am a big Star Trek fan. Yes, I even have one "StarCon" under my belt. My sister Lisa and I went one year in Colorado and got to see Patrick Stewart speak. Good stuff. No, we didn't dress up. I like Star Trek, but it does not consume my life. Well, not for the most part anyway.
After the movie, we went to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner. My all time favorite is Macaroni Grill (Mmmmm..... Penne Rustica.....), but Cheesecake Factory is much closer, I'd only been once, and it was really good. So now I've been twice. Excellent food both times. And of course cheesecake to bring home. So delicious. Maybe I'll have a birthday again next week. It would almost be worth prematurely aging. Youth is overrated anyway.

And because posts without pics are not nearly as fun, here are a few of the munchkins

I love catching candid moments like these. Luke with his arm around Dylan, and little N on the right. His adoption stuff is moving along, and hopefully I'll be able to post pictures of his sweet little face soon.

Luke and Landon in their Jedi poses
Guess who has discovered he can empty the cupboards?

Landon has enjoyed putting puzzles together recently. He was pretty pleased with himself over this 300 piece puzzle that he had very little help on. Scott and I both helped a little, but just because it was fun to be there with him, not because he needed the help.

color coding my kids - pros and cons

2009-06-01T19:14:00.006-07:00

I color code my kids. It started as a way to keep track of whose plate was still on the table, whose towel was on the floor, etc. The nice part is, the kids love it. They take it pretty seriously. So here are their colors:

Landon - Green

Luke - Blue

N- Orange

Dylan - Red

A - Pink

Stix - Yellow

Now, the babies don't really need a color yet, but I didn't want to leave them out either. Their colors are mostly used for my own organizational purposes.

When a child comes to our house, I eventually make them a "snuggle" with their color scheme. A snuggle is a small blankie, about 18" x 24" with fringed edges. I'll admit right now that I have had A and Stix's material for quite some time, and have failed to come up with the finished product yet. Bad, bad mommy. But the general idea is to give them something that is just theirs, that they can snuggle up with in bed.

The also each have a small basket in their color for school papers and such. That goes on a marked Cubby in our bookshelf. They each have 3 marked cubbies for their stuff, the bottom cubby for their shoes, the middle for their backpack, and the top for their basket.

Each child has their own laundry basket (even the babes). Thanks to the makers of "Duck Tape", I can get tape in all their colors. I put their color tape around the handles of the basket. When I do laundry and sort clothes, each child's clothes go into their basket and the big kids all put away their own. They "fold" as well. I'm not picky about how well it is folded, as long as their drawers all close when they are done.

Each child has a bath towel, hand towel, wash rag, bath pouf, and tooth brush in their color. We hang the hand towels and bath poufs with 3M hooks (love those things!). That way, when Luke goes to wipe off his just-washed-but-somehow-still-dirty hands on the towel, he only gets his own towel dirty, and not the community towel. I used to use paper towels, thanks to the idea from my sister LeAnn. But the kiddos were extremely wasteful, and I'm cheap. Plus, I had a 10th grade Biology teacher who drilled conservation into our heads- Thanks Mr. Strube! While I'm certainly no tree hugger, I do try not to be wasteful, and going through 3 rolls of paper towels a week was a bit much.

We also have plates (both divided and flat), cups, and bowls in each color. The kids dishes are in a low cupboard so they can reach their own. They may use one cup a day. We do a lot of dishes (and laundry) around here, so that helps cut down a bit. They are responsible for setting and cleaning up their own dishes.

One of the main "cons" is my tendency to go overboard with this whole color scheme thing. We were at Wal-Mart and they had cute flip flops and boat shoes in all the right colors. I didn't buy any, but man did I want to. It is a good thing we are poor, or I would definitely take color scheming to an unhealthy level. Such as, when we were recently at Ikea, they had lap blankets on sale in all the right colors. Now, we have 3419 blankets in this house and at least half of those are lap blankets. We live in Arizona. But guess what we came home from Ikea with? Cute new blankets that were entirely unnecessary. They do look cute all snuggled up with them on movie night, though. Another con is passing on the color mania to my children. Now they think they get to buy everything they see in their color. I hear constant rings of "Look, mom, can we buy this? it's my color" while we're at the store. They also think that EVERYTHING at home in their color belongs to them. N thinks the orange power screwdriver is his, Landon is convinced he can use the green sharpie whenever he wants... Why doesn't Luke want anything to do with the blue broom, though?

One of the major "pros" was entirely unforeseen. When little mr. N joined our family, he'd spent quite a bit of time in his short 3 years being bounced around. Having a color that is "his" has helped him feel at home here, I think. No one takes their color as seriously as he does. He LOVES orange. He wears orange as often as possible. He loves knowing that he doesn't have to share his orange plates, orange towel, and orange blanket with anyone. He is the only one that has formed an attachment to his snuggle. He loves that thing and carries it all around the house.

And While I'm on the subject, I owe a big thanks to my sister LeAnn who has been on the lookout for me. She just sent us a lovely package in the mail with orange, pink AND yellow divided plates. Yay!

As for me, I have a plastic filing tray marked with each kiddos color, a small expanding file folder for each child marked with their color (so convenient to grab on the way out the door and know you have the right kids shot record), storage bucket, and various other thing like that to help me keep organized. Maybe one of these days I'll actually FEEL organized. for now, our house is somewhere in the vicinity of slightly organized chaos.

Class Dismissed!

2009-05-28T21:56:00.016-07:00

Time for summer break! the kiddos only had 1/2 day today. I actually took N (whose last day of school was yesterday) to the movie this morning (Space chimps- It was pretty funny, and he loved it) while the 3 older munchkins were at school. Scott stayed home with the babies. Then N and I went to the school to take pictures of the kids with their teachers. I am looking forward to a less rigid schedule this summer. We still have things going on, and Dylan still has his home therapies (4 hours a week), but we should have plenty of time to relax. We aired up a small kiddie pool on the patio. It is just the right size for the 4 older kids, and they are having a good time with it. We also found a bike on craigslist for A. Now everyone has a bike to ride. And remember the 127 pound bike that I previously mentioned? Luke finally got the hang of it, and actually prefers it to the bigger bike now. We got N a Diego trike, so we're all set. Now, if we could just get Arizona to turn down the heat this summer.....

Last night was Landon's Kindergarten "graduation". the very idea of it cracks me up. I always think about that line in "The Incredibles" where the dad says something about coming up with new ways to celebrate mediocrity. I'll have to watch again to get the line just right. anyway, the principal introduced them as the class of 2021. She said it several times. I hadn't previously put any thought into what year Landon would graduate. What's sad is that I know it will be here in the blink of an eye.
Another realization today was how much my kids have grown. For the last day of school, Luke wore the same outfit that Landon wore of the first day of school. Getting Luke to stand still long enough to take a picture is challenging, and when he does stand still, he is always hamming it up. So here they are: Landon's first day of school on top, and Luke's last day on bottom. Handsome boys huh?

We also have an initial court hearing for N. Hopefully we can get his adoption all wrapped up soon, so I can start calling him by name, and posting his pictures. Trust me, he's adorable.

In the meantime here's Dylan, my little man of a million faces:

How free day at the science center became the most expensive day ever.

2009-05-23T10:43:00.004-07:00

Just sit right back and I'll tell a tale, a tale of a fateful trip. It started with free day at the AZ Science center. That's in downtown Phoenix. I live in East Mesa. So, about a 45 minute trip. I tend to stick pretty close to home, and go to downtown Phoenix as little as possible. Scott had to be at Snappy (aka- Crappy), so it was just me and 6 kiddos. I wasn't too worried, I gave them the whole "There are 6 kids and just one mom" lecture. A and N are "buddies" when we go somewhere, as are Luke and Landon. That just means the older child holds the younger childs hand and helps them as needed. I pushed the double stroller with the babes. Well, we get there, see the parking garage, and as I'm pulling up to it, someone that was parked on the street pulled out. Cool! Free parking on the street is way better than paid parking in the garage! I am super cheap. to a fault. As the story will tell. So, I pull in, get the older kids out, and feed them the sandwiches I'd brought. While we are sitting there eating our sandwiches, 3 or 4 different people came up and asked me if parking was free on Saturdays. I had assumed it was, like everyone else. After all, Everywhere I had EVER lived had free street parking on the weekends. I didn't take into account the major budget crisis in our state. But i didn't know for sure. The meters have nothing on them to tell you if they are free on saturdays. We checked every other vehicle on our street, and all the meters were empty, and no one had a ticket on their window. Some of the people that I talked to decided to go back and feed their meter "just in case" and others decided to risk it. I am not a risk taker. I fed my meter before we left. The maximum allowed was 2 hours. no problem, we aren't that far. We can spend some time looking around, then come back to re-feed the meter. So my munchkins and I toodled around the corner to the Science center, and we saw it...... The line that stretched on for miles. It was the longest line I had ever seen, and that includes lines at disneyland. I knew right then that I would have to be completely nuts to stand in that line. But what could I do? I had promised the kids, and they were so excited! I had threatened them to behave, and they were behaving. Believe me, I would have taken any excuse to leave. But they were being REALLY good. So we stood in the line. This line was outside. In Arizona. Now, it was the last weekend of April, so while it wasn't "hell" hot yet, it was still pretty dang warm. Thankfully, I had brought plenty of water. So we waited. and waited. and just when we thought we were getting where we needed to be, we saw it wasn't the entrance, the line just turned and went on some more. the kids were still being little angels. Even the babies. The munchkins would run around a little, have little races to this light post, or that rock, find a hill to roll down. I was wishing I would have saved the sandwiches until we were in line, but oh well. Why did I think we were the only ones who knew about free day? When we were getting close to the actual door, we were under a tree. Finally, some shade! But even the shade had it's price. SPLAT! A bird pooped on me. yes. I know. gross. Thankfully (if there is something to be thankful about when a bird poops on you- how very Betsie ten Boom of me) it only landed on my hand and some on the stroller. I think I would have been more grossed out if it had landed on one of the babies. So glad I had baby wipes and hand sanitizer with me. We finally get inside, in the wonderful air conditioning, and the waiting was just about over. Our turn comes, we each get an armband, and off we go to explore. We had waited in line for one hour. ONE HOUR IN LINE!! I was just so thankful to be in the air conditioning, and out of that line, that the last thing I was thinking of was our meter. I'm sure there was a part of my brain soothing itself with a constant "it's okay, parking is free on Saturdays. If it's not, it should be, so surely you won't get a ticket." I never thought of that meter the entire time we were in the museum. It was all of our first times there, and it is very "hands on", so the kids were having a great time. it is 4 stories. We took our time, and wandered around. One of the favorites of the older 4 kiddos was the nose. it's a giant nose that you throw foam balls into, then the nose sneezes them back out. This same exhibit freaked poor Dylan out. The "sneezing" sound was loud and abrupt, and he did not like it one bit. I had to hold him to calm him down until we were far enough away that he could no longer hear it. That was the only time we had even a minor issue. I had brought the baby sling with me, so it was possible to snuggle Dylan and push the stroller at the same time. The kids explored, touched, built, smelled, destroyed, learned, looked, played, and had such a great time. no one whined (a big accomplishment), they all took turns, everyone listened, it was great. They had a Star Trek exhibit, but you had to pay extra for that -- quite a bit extra. I am a big Sci-fi geek, but my extreme cheapness rules all, so we didn't see it. When we had seen all there was to see (of the free stuff anyway), and done all there was to do, we headed back out the door. About 4 hours later. plus the one hour we spent in line. 5 hours on a 2 hour meter. A meter that should have been free on Saturdays. Guess who had a nice yellow envelope on her window? apparently the free parking is only on Sundays. It used to be free Saturdays, but that had just recently been changed. Don't you think they should be required to post ON THE METER which days you have to pay? So, the parking ticket was $31. Still not too bad, I reasoned. If I had payed to go to the museum, it would have cost $52. If I would have paid for parking, it would have cost about $12. And according to the lady screaming obscenities at the parking attendant, the line just to get out of the parking garage was about an hour long. At that point, I was glad I hadn't parked in the garage. I was through waiting in lines. So I took my ticket, and headed home. Do you think that is where the story ends? not even close. I do not watch the news. What does that have to do with anything? well, the first time I had heard anything about the dreaded "Swine Flu" was that same Saturday evening. I am hyper-vigilant about Dylan's health, so if I would have heard anything about this flu earlier, I most certainly would not have taken him to a closed museum with thousands of people. Prbably not a good idea anyway, but there you have it. Monday morning, Dylan was running a fever. Not a high fever, but I was still concerned. Tuesday, same thing. His temperature hovered around 99-100. Wednesday, I was at the doctor with another child for a well check, and asked her how concerned I should be. She asked if I had been around anyone who had been out of the country recently???? I (in a bit of a crazed tone, I'm afraid) told her about my brilliant outing to free day at the museum, and I'm sure at least a few of those thousands of people had been out of the country recently. She assured me if it was the flu, his temperature would be higher, but they could test him if I wanted. I decided to wait and keep an eye on his fever. it finally seemed to break on Friday evening. Saturday he woke up with a red rash all over his torso, diaper area, and little on his neck an face. So I freaked (just a little) and took him in to the after hours clinic. it was Roseola. apparently the rash is harmless, just a bit bothersome. The doc there told me that once he has the rash, the worst is over. What is strange is that when I came home, I read up on Roseola and you are supposed to have a much higher fever with that also. Oh, well. I'm glad it wasn't any higher, and I'm glad it wasn't the flu. And yet, the story continues. last week in the mail, I got an envelope from Automated Traffic Enforcement. What? It was a a "traffic violation notice" . For about 2 miles on the way to the Science center, I was on a stretch of interstate where the speed limit is NOT 65, like every other highway around here. apparently on this short stretch, the speed limit is 55. I was going 69. What's funny here is that I remember seeing the sign saying the speed was enforced by photo radar. knowing they typically don't flash until you are 11 miles over the speed limit, I assumed (again) that I was safe. I thought I was only 4 miles over. Don't ask me how I managed to see the Photo radar enfocement sign, but miss the speed limit sign. Sigh. The moral of this story? just stay home. No, I know what you are thinking. There are several other conclusions, or morals you can draw from this story. Don't speed. Feed your meter. Watch the news. blah, blah, blah. just STAY HOME. that is my new motto. The kids finish school this thursday, and from that point on, we will be sequestered. no bike rides, no malls, no movies, no swimming pools, no parks, no zoos, no back yards, and certainly NO FREAKING MUSEUMS!!!!! Shades drawn, door locked. We will emerge at the end of summer, slightly Gollum-like, in order to start school again. Thankfully, summer break is only 6 weeks long. can you get rickets in that amount of time? note to self, stock up on Vitamin D supplements.

Updates

2009-03-27T21:08:00.003-07:00

Just a quick update on the kiddos--
Landon has learned how to tie his shoes and ride his bike. The kid is amazing. He accomplished both these tasks without Scott or I feeling like we'd actually taught him. We showed him how to tie his shoes a few times, and he's been watching carefully, but we never sat and said "now do this, now make bunny ears, blah blah blah". But he picked it right up. And as for his bike riding-- we just took the training wheels off and told him to push himself along with his feet and work on balancing and steering. He'd push off and lift his feet, then practice steering. Then we told him to work on getting his feet up to the pedals while he was coasting. next step- pedaling. It took him all of 20 minutes to learn. Smart boy. No endless hours of running behind him, holding onto the seat. Yay!
Luke is anxious to be able to do all the things Landon does, so he will probably be an early bike rider. He needs a new bike, so we are looking for one. The one he has weighs about 127 pounds and is so hard to pedal. it's one of those "tonka" 12" bikes. It is cute, and it was free, but he does not have the coordination necessary to pedal a difficult bike. So, we'll pass that on to someone else.
N is Potty trained! I can't even tell you how happy this makes me. Hooray for N! Our school district has 2 weeks off for spring break, and by the end of break, he was in underwear full time. Only a couple of accidents- one at night and one in the day. He's doing so well with his adjustment here. He certainly has a little attitude at times, but that's necessary in a crazy house like ours.
And Dylan. Our little Dylan continues to amaze us. He is crawling! and it is the cutest thing I've ever seen. I don't know if it is just because he had to work so much harder to get to this point, but I break out in a huge grin (and sometimes even a happy tear) STILL every time I see him crawl. He's been at it close to a month now. It is so adorable. And he's pulling to a stand on everything. He tried it on the vacuum the other day with an unhappy ending. He is now sporting a big bruise on his forehead. He had been avoiding crawling on the tile... until today. Now he's unstoppable. Time to Dylan-proof the house. He's precious, and all the boys (and mom and dad) spoil him.
Tomorrow will mark 3 years without our sweet Jacob. The pain of losing him still seems so fresh, and yet, it also seems like it has been a million years since I got to hold my sweet boy. awww, here come the tears. must be time to stop.

2009-03-12T13:37:00.002-07:00

Happy Birthday, sweet angel Jacob. You would have been 4 today! I wish I could see you running around the house with your brothers. I miss you more today than I did yesterday. I love you, John Jacob Jingleheimer!

Why?

2009-02-14T13:21:00.003-07:00

Do you know what children like Dylan are treated like in Eastern European orphanages? I feel sick to my stomach when I read articles, or watch a news clip about it. My mind quickly scrambles, wondering if there's something more I can do. I look at my little Dylan, and the light he brings to this family, and know the world would be a darker place without him. He's been so sick this past week with RSV. I can't stand to think about him in a place where he's never held, never spoken to, fed once a day, diaper changed rarely, and left to suffer illness on his own. He whimpers, and I hold him close. I stroke his cheeks. I coo in his ear. I let him see me smile at him. I tell him a billion times a day how much I love him, and smother him with kisses. When he's sick, I rub his back, go without sleep so I can hold him up to let him breathe easier, wish with every piece of me that I could absorb his pain and discomfort. Kids with Down syndrome, and other special needs, are not a waste of space. They are PERFECT. They are not put on this earth for us to put up with, they are here for us to learn from. They are not the ones that need to become more like a typical person. Typical people need to become more like THEM. Spend some time with my son, and I guarantee you'll learn something about unconditional love, about faith, about goodness and light. I love you, sweet Dylan. I hope someday I can grow up to be more like you.

a day in the life

2009-02-01T18:03:00.002-07:00

Monday:
Landon to school bus at 7:30, N on the bus at 8:15, N home again 11:45, Luke on the bus at 12:15, Landon home 3:15, Luke home 4:00. Scott Leaves for work at 7:30am. after classes, he goes to our business in Scottsdale. He returns home around 9pm.

Tuesday:
Landon to school bus at 7:30, Dylan has Developmental therapy at 10, Luke on the bus at 12:15, Landon home 3:15, Luke home at 4. Scott leaves at 7:30 am, and in the evening teaches a college course. he returns home around 9- 9:30

Wednesday:
Landon on bus at 7:30, N on but at 8:15, N home again 11:45, Dylan has Physical Therapy at 2, Landon home 3:15. Scott leaves at 7:30 and returns home by 5

Thursday:
Landon on bus 7:30, Luke on bus at 12:15, Landon home 3:15, Luke home 4:00. Scott leaves at 7:30 and then goes to the business. home around 9.

Friday:
Landon on bus 7:30, N on bus 8:15, N home 11:45, Landon home 3:15. Scott leaves at 7:30, and sometimes gets to be home by about 4:30, unless it is very busy at the business. Then he has to go there until about 9.

Saturday:
no set schedule for the kids. Scott has to go to the business around 10am, and returns around 5-6.

Sunday:
A day of rest! no work for Scott, Church services are currently from 1-4pm.

This doesn't take into account any doctors visits, dentist visits, trips to the grocery store... or any household chores. Or the Occupational and Speech therapy Dylan is SUPPOSED to be getting, but there just aren't any therapists available currently. Starting this next week, A will be on the same schedule as Landon, and Stix doesn't currently need any services, so her schedule will remain eat, sleep, poop, repeat.

good times.

girls?????

2009-01-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

just had to share a little of the cuteness. did you know that in that extra 21st chromosome is where extreme cuteness is found?

okay, so I never really shared the news that I promised. We have another little 3 year old boy in our home that we hope to be adopting soon! I can't post pics or his name yet, so I'll call him N. He is adorable and fits right in around here. there is about a 7 month difference between him and Luke. He goes to preschool, although on a different schedule than Luke. That's good and bad. good that I get some one-on-one time with each boy, bad that I have to keep up with 2 different pre-school schedules. He's doing so well. We had a rough patch earlier this month, but it was short lived, and honestly not that bad. His adjustment has been amazing.

Now on to girls. We are foster parents. N is a private adoptive placement, not associated with foster care at all, so we had no current foster placements. My licensing worker keeps telling me how badly they need homes right now due to recent influx of children in care :o(

We felt good about opening up one of our beds for placement, as N's adjustment has gone well, and we certainly have the space. I wanted a child 6 yrs old or older. so they called us about a 6 yr old girl - with a little sister. a 4 month old little sister. Well, the reason we licensed for 2 beds in the first place is to try to help keep siblings together. So we just couldn't say no. I like things to be busy around here anyway. So, the tally for anyone keeping track - we currently have in our home: 2- 6 yr olds, 2- 3yr olds, a 13 month old, and a 4 month old. I don't think the girls will be here very long. but while they are, I will refer the the 6 yr old as A, and the baby as Stix. Why Stix? I love the movie Willow, and the little red headed baby there is nicknamed Stix by Val Kilmer's character. The little one we have is a red head-- so cute. So, stix. there you have it. The life and times of the Spencer clan.

Year of the....COW???

2009-01-23T01:28:00.000-07:00

When we were in IL to bring home our little man, we were having dinner with the birth family (open adoption) at grandma Sveta and grandpa Felix's house. They gave us some gifts-- okay, they gave us many gifts, and one of them was this cute little pig keychain. They told me that according to the chinese zodiac, Dylan was born in the year of the pig. Okay. cute. I don't put much stock in any zodiac, Chinese or otherwise, but it didn't bother me in the least that they kept track of that. It's just sort of a fun thing for them, I think. fast forward to October, when Sveta and Felix came for a visit. They once more came bearing MANY gifts. For all the kids, plus Scott and I. They truly spoil us. One of the things in my stash was a cow keychain, and it had a button to push that made it moo, and a little light in the mouth come on. Sveta told me that it was to represent my Chinese zodiac sign. I said, Oh, I was born in the year of the cow? The very sentence made me crack up. How appropriate. I was born in the year of the cow. I went to Wikipedia, and it turns out, it is actually an Ox. Ox sounds infinitely better than cow. Probably why the Chinese chose it. Smart Chinese. The pig is also technically a boar. so now I know. Turns out Luke was born in the year of the monkey... how appropriate is that? certainly fits him. Anyway, beginning on the 26th of Jan, we once more enter into the year of the... Ox. Scott is also an Ox. maybe good things will be in store for us this year??

Funny Landon moments

2009-01-22T02:11:00.000-07:00

today after school I was working with Landon on his homework. Then I signed a paper that had to go back to school. He looked at it and said "is that your initials?" I told him no, it was my name. He looked at my signature with a very confused look and said "that says 'Mom'?" it was so funny. I love it when kids think your whole name is mom. I remember discovering my mom had a name.
And the other moment was one he shared with daddy, and Scott told it to me. With me being a Beatles fan, my kids tend to pick up Beatles songs quite young. One I sing a lot is "Dear Prudence". but instead of the part where it actually says Dear Prudence, I subsitute the name of whichever son I'm singing to. This is one of Luke's favorites. He even sings it back to me quite often, with the chorus of Dear Mommy, won't you come out to play?... but I digress. Landon is not a morning person so much. I am not either. Which is why Scott is in charge of getting Landon up in the mornings. He was having a hard time getting Landon out of bed the other day, so he started singing "The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful, and so are you, Dear Landon, won't you come out to play". Landon lifted his head, looked over at his window, and said quite groggily "Dad, the sun is NOT up." and promptly laid his head back down and shut his eyes. That made me laugh. I can't blame him. I though having kids would "cure" me and I would do morning better, but no such luck. There are just 2 kinds of people in this world, and I am NOT of the morning variety. apparently i'm a bad influence on my children as well. Oh, well. They'll survive it.

Sweet bonding moments

2009-01-12T18:56:00.000-07:00

So Luke came in and crawled in bed with me this morning and I was snuggling him. He was facing me, and I was rubbing his sweet little face, thinking how much I loved him. here is our conversation.

me: Luke, do you know what my favorite thing is?
Luke: what, mama?
me: snuggling with my Luke

he smiles so sweetly at me .

Luke: Mama, do you know what my favorite thing is?

I smile to myself, thinking I know what he will say

me: What is your favorite thing, baby?

Luke: ....Playing with toys.

HAHAHA!! I love how honest kids are.

Today is the day!

2008-12-29T14:08:00.001-07:00

Finalization day for little Dylan!!! YAY!! We are so excited to have this step DONE. He is legally a Spencer boy now. Finalization takes place in Illinois (we don't have to be there) and the lawyer will get all the necessary paperwork sent out tomorrow. Then Wednesday is his first birthday. Can you hear me singing the Hallelujah chorus?

This friday we take him to the temple to be sealed to our family. For anyone unfamiliar, I guess you could call it the religious version of finalization. We are very excited. He is a precious child. He makes us all smile. And he brings me great Joy. And for the icing on the cake, this friday is also our 13th anniversary.

We also have another new little face around here, that we hope to be able to adopt. Yes, another boy-- another 3 year old boy! I'll post pics and updates as I am able, but for now, we need to keep that private.

Sadly, no encouraging news of our Serbian daughter. We love her, and can't wait to meet her. We try to remain faithful, remembering the Strength with wich the Lord placed her in our hearts.

We learned the hard way Saturday night that Luke has asthma. Not a fun night. It was Scott's birthday, so while Luke had a cough, we still went out to eat. Just a very casual meal, nothing fancy. As I said, Luke had a cough, but nothing slows that kid down. I don't worry about him until he DOES slow down. He had been going at a billion miles an hour all day. When we were out, he kind of suddenly slowed down, and asked to go home. I knew then that he had more than a cold. We got into a warm shower, to see if the steam would open him up a little. Then we got him ready for bed, and put him in our room. We have a toddler sized bed we keep in there for sick kids, or if someone has a bad dream and wants to sleep close. Luke definitely gets the most use out of it. I was rubbing his head and singing to him, wondering if I should find an urgent care to take him to, when he sat up and said "Mom, I just want to breathe". Okay, time to go. Took him to urgent care, and his O2 sats were 88. after 2 breathing treatments and a lung x-ray (clear), he was able to maintain sats at 93, so they sent us home with oral steroids, and albuterol (we already had the nebulizer) and instructions to do breathing treatments every 2 hours. After the first 12 hours, we were able to go to every 4 hours, and now he is just using it as needed. My sweet luke does have a tendency to worry me. Luke and Asthma will not mix well. The kid never slows down. I don't know much about asthma yet, but I'm sure i'll be learning soon. His follow up with his Ped is next week.

2008-11-20T23:01:00.000-07:00

just a quick note before bed. I've gotten way behind again. Landon had to disguise Tom Turkey so he wouldn't get eaten for Thanksgiving. He decided to disguise him as Santa. It turned out really cute. It was assigned as a family project, so we all got to help. We had fun. Landon's sense of humor is really developing. I'll post pictures of his 6th birthday when I'm not so tired. ...... so it might be a while. Big news in the Spencer household, but we'll keep you all in suspense a bit longer on that, too. No, unfortunately, it is not about Aunika.

Dylan's adoption will be finalized in Dec!!! we are excited. the court date is Dec. 29, but now all the reports are in, we are seeing if the attorney can move it up for us.

Reece's Rainbow Christmas Angel Tree - Maria

2008-11-05T11:48:00.000-07:00

**pictures of Maria posted with permission of her orphanage director**

This is Maria. Isn't she a doll? She lives in Serbia, in the same orphanage as our daughter. She was born April 30, 2006. This is what the Reece's Rainbow website has to say about her:
Little Maria is so beautiful! Her giant brown eyes and dark brown hair are irresistible! Maria just turned 2 years old, and is free and clear for international adoption.
Maria was born with an ASD II, but it seems it has closed up on it's own. She has been monitored by a cardiologist, but is not on any medications and is doing wonderfully! She was born with a hemangioma on her lower lip, so she will need to see an ENT and a plastic surgeon to remove it (if you so choose).

a family that was in Serbia stated that the hemangioma was not too bad, and another mom with some experience in the area, says they often go away by themselves. This is the little girl we have chosen to sponsor as a family for this years angel tree. Please make a donation to her. 100% of your donation goes into a grant fund for her. and donations are Tax deductible! And if your donation is at least $35, you will get an ornament with her picture on it (as long as you make your donation by Dec. 15). Visit http://www.reecesrainbow.com/angeltree2008.htm and click on Waiting Angels Gallery , then look for Maria to make a donation. Donations can be made via paypal or USPS.
Better yet, are you interested in adopting her? Serbia is typically a very quick, easy country to adopt from. Our adoption is very atypical. Our daughter has not yet been cleared for international adoption. Maria has been. Just something to consider....
And not to detract from our sponsorship is Maria, but look at this little guy named Alec (from Eastern Europe) and our Dylan. Couldn't they be twins?

2008-11-04T17:17:00.000-07:00

Wellllll.... The homestudy update is over. she was here for about and hour and a half. I am just glad I don't stress as much as I used to. She said she'll have the report to us in about 2 weeks. that's not too bad. I would nove for it to be tomorrow, but since we have to have our USCIS fingerprints re-done as well, probably no rush on the homestudy. I sent our check and request to have our fingerprints redone, but they sent it back. apparently as of about 2 months ago, they stopped taking personal checks. Got the Money order, and will resend the request tomorrow. Hopefully they'll be as quick as last time.

I've decided to focus our Angel Tree attentions on Maria, I think. I asked Jasmina to send me some more pictures, and info on her. We'll see how that goes.

Magdalena's family is travelling for her soon. We are glad she has a family to go to. It will be nice to have our turn eventually. I think I'll start packing some basics, just to get one thing off my mind. I tried that once before, over a year ago. You can see how well that turned out for me. I was determined not to start packing again until we had definite word, but families are not being given that much notice. maybe I'll just pack the travel only items. It's hard not to feel excited and hopeful around the holidays.

well, my head hurts, and it's time to fix dinner.

I hope there is a great nationwide voter turnout today. I voted a week ago-- no lines for me. Early voting is very big here- don't know about the rest of the country.

Here is a picture of Luke from last night. He kept getting out of bed, we kept telling him to go back. finally, he fell asleep at the foot of the stairs. so cute.

My littlest Punkin

2008-11-01T21:41:00.001-07:00

Buddy walk from Oct. 25

2008-11-01T21:20:00.001-07:00

This year's buddy walk was a lot of fun. We met lots of new people. We carried signs saying Honoring Dylan, Remembering Jacob, and Awaiting Aunika. The best part of the day was getting to meet Max! Max lived in the same orphanage as Aunika. His family was in Serbia adopting him around the same time I was in Chicago with Dylan. I got to give Max lots of snuggles. I'm so glad he's home. He looks great!

here's pics of him with his mommy (Shawnie), Max meeting Dylan, and the 4 of us together.

Reece's Rainbow Christmas Angel Tree Project!!

2008-11-01T10:48:00.000-07:00

It's November 1, and that means the Reece's Rainbow Christmas Angel Tree is BACK! http://www.reecesrainbow.org/angeltree2008.htm

Reece's Rainbow is a registered 501(c)3 charity which promotes and facilitates the international adoption of children with Down syndrome exclusively.

Our Angel Tree is the perfect gift opportunity for your friends and family, and the GIFT OF A FAMILY for an orphaned child with Down syndrome this Christmas. From today until December 31, you have a very special opportunity to view all of our waiting children and offer them gifts in the form of adoption grants, so families can afford the high cost of rescuing them!

With your sponsorship gift of $35 or more, you will recieve a beautiful porcelain ornament with your child's photo on the back. This is a very meaningful and personal gift, and life-saving at the same time! We have almost (100) children on our Angel Tree this year, all waiting for families and eligible for grant donations.

In only 2 1/2 years, donations from individuals like yourselves have made it possible for (120) children with Down syndrome and other special needs to find a family of their own through Reece's Rainbow. They have been saved from orphanages and mental institutions around the world. Our Christmas Angel Tree is our most important fundraiser of the year, and our goal is to find families for (30)+ children between now and December 31! Your donations towards their adoption grants greatly increase the chances of that happening!

The dire need of these children never ceases. Your small gift can literally change the course of their lives, so each of them may be HOME with their own family by NEXT Christmas! The average cost of an international adoption is $25,000, so every penny you can give truly does make a difference. Donations can be made via credit card through Paypal, or you are welcome to send a personal check. International sponsors are also welcome, and we can ship ornaments amd gift cards overseas for you!

Please visit our Waiting Christmas Angels Gallery and sponsor one or more of our orphaned children with Down syndrome today!

Forward this announcement to everyone you know, and share this special opportunity to really make a difference in the life of a child with Down syndrome!

Any questions can be directed to Andrea Roberts at http://us.mc528.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=bamaroberts@comcast.net All donations are tax deductible, and 100% of your gift goes to your sponsored child!

God bless each of you this Christmas, whether you are Christian or of another faith. The need transcends faiths, ethnicity, geographic borders. Thank you for your continued advocacy and support for this ministry, and for sharing this opportunity with everyone you know!

Andrea Roberts, Executive DirectorReece's Rainbow Down Syndrome Adoption Ministryhttp://www.reecesrainbow.org/

Halloween Pics

2008-11-01T10:36:00.001-07:00

Landon was Darth Vader, Luke was Luke Skywalker (it's what he tells people his name is anyway), I was a witch (fitting, huh?) and Dylan was The Incredible hulk. Dylan's birth grandparents brought him the costume when they came for a visit. Luke and Landon wanted Dylan to be Yoda, but it was much easier to use the costume he was given. maybe next year. They all looked very cute. and yes, my teeth were supposed to look that way, I didn't forget to brush.

2008-11-01T01:13:00.000-07:00

Dylan is such a little smarty pants. This week, he's finally started making some consonant sounds! he says ya-ya, wa-wa, ba-ba, and MA-MA!!! yay!! Okay, I know it is just a sound, he's not calling for me, but I still like the way it sounds. his other neat trick is that he's clapping his hands. SO CUTE!! we have to get him all worked up and excited first, and it takes him a couple of tries, but he's doing it. He was so cute tonight for halloween. I'll post pics tomorrow. all the boys looked adorable. We actually had 2 fun nights. last night was the trunk-or-treat at church, and tonight they went around the block. Me and Dylan stayed home to pass out candy. Daddy took the boys trick or treating.
side note-- I had a dream about my sweet Jacob last night. I was holding and snuggling him. It felt good to hold him again- even in a dream. I woke up longing to hold him for real. I sure miss my little man.
adoption news-- Our HS is expired, so we contacted the agency, and the good news is, she can come Monday! The bad news is, she's coming Monday. Guess what we'll be doing tomorrow? There really isn't too much to do, just some general tidying. Since we are foster parents, it seems our home is inspected all the time, so I no longer worry about the little things. just a bit of clean up to make it look spit-spot. Our fingerprints are also expired, so I sent the request for a new fingerprint date. Last time, it only took 2 weeks for the appt, so I'm hoping it will be quick. our I-171h is good until Jan, so I hope we go before then. we shall see!

2008-10-30T09:31:00.001-07:00

On the adoption front-- here is a brief re-cap of everything that has happened since Jan. '08 in 100 words or less.

We finalized Landon's adoption on April 1--exactly 3 years from the day he first came to our house. There was much rejoicing throughout Spencer land. Landon was one happy boy. He wanted to go out to eat at "Red Crab". He loves shrimp.

Oh- not on the adoption front, but news nonetheless- We had also just moved into a new house about a week before this photo was taken. We wanted a bigger house so our family could grow. It seems to be working.

We had also taken placement of little Tristan (the little blond in the photo). He was placed with us as a possible adoptive placement, but adopting from foster care is unpredictable. Our sweet little guy went back home just 2 weeks ago, and we miss him a lot. Especially Luke. They were very close. I wish his family the best, and pray they will be a good family for Tristan to be raised in. They have all our contact info, but so far, have chosen no contact.

In May we journeyed to Chicago to meet our newest son, whom we named Dylan. Dylan's adoption has been unique for us in that it is an open adoption. He lived with his birth parents until he was 4 months old. They decided at 2 months to make an adoption plan for him, and then went through several files, and weren't able to find the right family. We heard about him through an email on our Reece's Rainbow Yahoo group, and knew we had to send our homestudy. They chose our family, and we are still in awe at that. He comes from a wonderful family of Russian immigrants, who truly wanted to make the best choice for their son. They love him and miss him very much. We are privileged to be able to share our sweet boy with this family. He is pure gold. His birth grandparents just came out for a visit, and it was fun having them here, to show them how much Dylan has grown in the past 5+ months. They brought us all many gifts. Grandma Sveta also made us Blintzes. Yum!!

And all this time, we were still trying to get our sweet Aunika home. She is constantly on our minds. We got news just yesterday that things seem to be moving on her file, and they are hopeful of having her legal status cleared soon. I'm afraid to get my hopes up, but We pray it won't be much longer. We scheduled our homestudy update, and also have to get re-fingerprinted. I hope all our paperwork comes together quickly. We rushed through it all the first time, then sat and waited for a travel date. and waited. and waited. Then all our paperwork started expiring, but we still had no news, so we decided to wait, instead of rush through it all again, just to have it expire before we travelled again. Let me tell you, we get very tired of being asked if we have any news from Serbia, and having to say "no". We are praying that this time, everything will come together, and we can go get our daughter soon.

okay, so that was WAY more than 100 words, but seriously... who's counting?

2008-10-29T23:53:00.000-07:00

*warning: picture contains EXTREME cuteness. If you are not used to such extreme cuteness (those of you poor souls not living with a T-21 angel), you may need to avert your eyes.

yes, I know, this outfit is WAY too warm for this time of year in AZ. but he's going to outgrow it before it gets cool enough to wear. and he looks so good in red. the overalls have zip-off legs, so I did take them off to make into shorts, and I rolled up his sleeves. But then I discovered this cute little outfit is going in the give-away pile. No snaps on bottom for easy diaper changes!! ridiculous! I had to take them completely off each time i had to change a diaper. so not worth it. He looks super cute in all his clothes, so we can live without these. He looks super cute bare naked also. what a blessing this sweet boy is.

okay- off to bed now.

2008-10-29T15:58:00.001-07:00

another example of why life with a 3 year old is great. Luke has fine motor issues. getting dressed is just beyond his patience level most mornings. this morning I was quite insistent, and this is the result. both shorts and shirt are backwards. as a side note, his unders are inside out and backwards. but he did it himself. Did I leave him that way? you betcha. We ran a multitude of errands today, all with him looking super cute with his backwards clothes. we are carving pumpkins tonight-- should be fun!

2008-10-29T15:53:00.000-07:00

my super sexy sock. it's still too warm here for this, so i won't be wearing another "cover-up" sock over it. i'll just be mismatched for awhile.

*gasp* I know-- me-- the sock lady-- mismatched. somehow i'll survive.

2008-10-29T14:52:00.000-07:00

So my friend Shawnie asked me at the Buddy Walk why I never update my blog. hmmm.... good question. Answer: I'm too lazy. pure and simple. I think I was taking the whole thing a little too seriously. and that is just not me. I'm going to stop worrying so much, and just write. it will probably be mostly rambling. oh, well. The real me is quite sarcastic. the problem is, sarcasm doesn't come through too well in print. Ya know how in computer world, all caps is considered YELLING??? well, I decided for the purpose of this blog, that when i want to be sarcastic, i'll try to remember to use italics. no promises, though. So another of my problems is that I always think I have to go back and catch up on everything I missed from the past. Now, I'll just write whatever I happen to be thinking about. no agenda, no organization whatsoever. and because I write better when I'm writing to someone else, that's how i'll write my blog-- i'm writing it to all you out there in cyber-land, to my vast following, my fan club of 2. Deal? Oh, and this will not be just an adoption blog. My LIFE is adoption, so this will be a blog about the life and times of the Spencer clan.
nuff said.

*Life with a 3 year old is so much fun! Luke is out digging for dinosaur bones at the moment.
Oh, and I've officially become my mother. I am wearing one of those fancy, super sexy compression stockings. I fell down my *&%O#*&)% stairs a month ago, and my leg is STILL bothering me, and has lots of swelling. sign of getting old I suppose.
Maybe later, if your lucky, I'll share with you my tips for making a fantastic halloween costume.
Love to all my fans,
Lisette

Funny things by Landon

2008-01-10T21:01:00.000-07:00

Landon cracks me up sometimes. The other day we were all driving to the store, and he was chattering away in the back seat. every two seconds, it was "hey, mom...." After about the 173rd time he had said "hey mom...." in a 15 minute period, I guess my tone betrayed a bit of exasperation as I said "what, Landon". He was quiet for about 2 seconds, then said "you need another Landon that doesn't talk too much.". I laughed so hard. I told him I didn't want any other Landon's. He's the only Landon for me! Plus, I'm pretty sure I can't handle more than one. Then, while we were in the store, we had been looking for socks for daddy. He had apparently been studying the pictures on the packages of underwear, and said "hey, mom... why doesn't dad have muscles?" I said he does have muscles. He has lots of muscles. Landon said "no he doesn't. Just the brown guys have muscles." Score one for he brown, muscle-bound model from the underwear package.

And we have recently completed another adoption. This one is of a fluffy puppy. Her name is Firefly. Our other dog, Ladybug, is starting to forgive me for bringing a puppy home. She is awfully cute. The "girls" will have a great time playing with each other.

Our Christmas was lovely. Very low key. The kids just got one gift from mom and dad, and a couple of things from Santa. The rest of our Christmas budget went to Jovan's (in Serbia) grant fund. I sure hope he finds a family soon.

2007-12-07T01:13:00.000-07:00

Can't sleep. may as well blog. We had two lovely days of rain last Friday and saturday. It was fabulous. I love the rain. We went to the dollar store and the boys each picked out an umbrella. They had so much fun walking in the rain with their umbrellas! it would drizzle, then pour, then drizzle, then pour, etc... I loved it! It is supposed to rain some more tomorrow afternoon. That would be lovely!.
Oh, and other big news! Our house sold. It was put on the market the day before Thanksgiving, so we didn't have anyone come look at it until the next Monday. We had an offer from the VERY FIRST FAMILY that saw it by that Wednesday, and a signed contract by the Tuesday after that. Not bad for 2 weeks work. In this market, that is incredible. We have felt over and over that moving is the right thing to do, and this was yet another sign! There are about 4 other houses on our street for sale that have been on the market a LOOOONG time. So we are excited to move forward with buying our new, huge house, and then promptly filling it with kids. I was going through our Christmas box, and putting up stockings for Landon, Luke, Aunika and Jacob. I realized we had a lot of extra stockings. I said to Scott "we have 7 extra stockings. I guess that means we need 7 more kids". He said "deal" then walked over and we shook on it. ;0)
I'm glad we are on the same page when it comes to adoption and family size!
well, maybe I'll try that sleep thing again now.

2007-12-03T12:02:00.000-07:00

Christmas Tree Update. I love our tree this year. it is great big, and smells SOOOO good. We have never been able to resign ourselves to a fake tree, thank heavens. Anyway, the only Snafu so far, was when Scott cut off the nice straight branch at the top... you know, the one that would have been PERFECT to put the star on. He snipped it, and I about went into convulsions. I asked him why, and he said it was just a bare branch and added nothing to the tree. Men are so one dimensional sometimes :0). I reminded him about the STAR, but it was too late by that time. So we make do. And the rest of the tree is lovely. This is Landon's favorite time of the year. He loves decorating the tree. My new favorite picture of him is at the top. Luke was hilarious. he found one spot to put ornaments, and they ALL went there. Scott tried to move some, spread it out a little, but I wouldn't let him. I think it is adorable. That is the reason we HAVE kids. To make the Christmas tree special. I love our "bottom heavy" tree. To me it says "Hey, I have kids! Finally! look at at all the ornaments on the first 3 feet of the tree! My KIDS did that!" Here is a picture of Luke's "ornament spot". You can't see them all in the picture, but there are 10 ornaments all clumped together. and it is my favorite spot on the tree. Landon was pretty good about spreading his out. It seems weird to have some ornaments that still say "Terry" and "Abe". Oh, which reminds me-- Landon's bio dad did appeal the court ruling, so we are in for the long haul again. We may or may not have it all wrapped up by next Christmas. I REALLY wanted him to start kindergarten with Landon being his LEGAL name, but oh well.

STILL no word on Aunika. *sigh*. We really wanted her home for Christmas. But I guess it will BE like Christmas when we bring her home, no matter what time of year it is. The boys have been talking about her non-stop. They are so excited about her. And Jasmina is still going to try to talk the ministry into letting us bring home 2 children, but she insists we do not get our hopes up. It would be so Awesome if we could bring home 2! Sounds like I already have my hopes up. It would also help us feel like there was a reason behind us having to give up sweet Kasia.

Well, time to fix some lunch for the munchkins.

2007-12-02T17:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a LOOOONNNGGG time since my last post. But no one is reading anyway, right? Holidays are still a bit hard. I miss my sweet Jacob. And we still have no word on Aunika. And Kasia has found another family. I don't even know whether to post a happy face or a sad face about that. I am so glad she has a committed, forever family. I'm just sad it isn't us. We have started pestering Serbia again to PLEASE let us bring home 2. Jasmina says not to get my hopes up. Too late.

On another note- one night last week right after bath time, Landon said "mom, I wanna be white". I asked him what he meant. He said he wanted his color to be white. I asked him why? He said because he wanted to be Superman. I assured him that it was OK to be a brown superman. Then we talked a little about colors. and Super Heroes. I told him we all (even super heroes) come in different colors. I happened to remember in the past few years, Green Lantern has been a brown man. So I showed him lots of pictures of Green Lantern (and guess what we asked Santa to bring this year?) and told him God made us just the color he wants us to be. He is such a beautiful boy. I don't ever want him to wish he was a different color. I don't want to start any sort of discrimination here, but I even told him White was boring, and that God upgraded him to such a nice color of brown. He's 5. we tell him what he'll understand. I attached a picture of him on Thanksgiving with Azlynn. In the summer, it is a toss-up for who's browner.

Also, we got new pictures of Aunika. THEY CHOPPED OFF ALL HER HAIR!! I don't know why. She is still adorable, but I have literally had dreams of running my hands through all her beautiful long hair. Oh, well. It will eventually grow back. Jasmina also told me she is smiling all the time now. I wish they'd send me a picture of that! I am glad she is smiling, and I said it was because she knows her family is coming for her soon!.

And now for the Thanksgiving update. Colton T. came down from NAU (in Flagstaff) for Thanksgiving. He got a ride with his roommate. It was so fun havin him here. He is such a little nut. and a very sweet boy. We also had him for his 19th birthday. Yay! He is studying hard, and is a smart boy. It was fun to have him and Colton R. together. Thanksgiving was nice. the food was Deee-lish! We went over to Darin and Misty's. Next year, our new house will be big enough to host. I have some pictures of our after dinner walk. I made everyone come. It was a lovely walk, a beautiful day.

AAAANNNNDDDD........

Colton R. got his mission call a few days ago. He is going to.... Drumroll please.....

Bahia Blanca, Argentina! A different mission than Scott served in, But still really cool to have him going to Argentina. He doesn't leave until March.

So I think that about catches things up. Time to go decorate the tree with the kiddos. Landon's very favorite activity!

Happy National Adoption Day!

2007-11-17T19:17:00.000-07:00

We are so grateful for ADOPTION!! Being pregnant was never important to me. Being a Mom was! I'm so glad there is more than one pathway to parenthood. I love my little buggers! Please check out the Christmas Angels video at the left. It is a video montage of the kids on Reece's Rainbow that are available for adoption. By making a donation, you are helping that child find a forever family. 100% of your donation goes into a grant fund for the child you choose to sponsor. Please take a look! http://www.reecesrainbow.com/

Happy Birthday Landon!

2007-11-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

Happy 5th Birthday to cute Landon! He had a fun day. we went to the zoo, and brought Eriana with us. Then we had Carrie's family, and the rest of Eriana's family over for Pizza and cake. Here's hoping for adoption finalization before he turns 6!

More pictures of Jovan!

2007-11-10T16:53:00.000-07:00

I asked Jasmina at the orphanage to send more pictures of Jovan. She said it was okay to post them. Isn't he a cutie? Jasmina says "Jovan is really full of joy. And,developmentally,he is our "best"Sy.Down child. He is attending a kindergarten for SN children,and it helps him very
much in his development." She also sent me photos of a 15 month old boy named Luka. She says he is very sweet, and also doing quite well developmentally.

Today is Happy Birthday to my Sweet Landon! he turns 5 years old today. He is a changed kid since we changed his name and told him he gets to stay here for good. He's learning to trust more. I'll post pictures of his party later.

Because I have been given much, I too must give

2007-11-09T14:35:00.000-07:00

"You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you."
- John Wooden

This is Jovan. Is he just about the cutest little boy you've ever seen? He is 4 years old and lives in Serbia - at Elena's orphanage. Jovan also has Down Syndrome. He is VERY high functioning. He is so smart, and the orphanage director states that he is a true joy to be around. The orphanage that he is at only keeps the children until they are 5 years old. Before he turns 6, he will be transferred to a long term mental institution. Do you or someone you know want to bring him home? Serbia is a VERY easy and inexpensive country to adopt from. He deserves a forever family, not isolation in a mental institution. Our family would like to sponsor Jovan this Christmas season. Instead of buying each other gifts that we don't really need, we are sending the money to Jovan's grant fund. 100% of the money you and I donate will go into a grant fund. For those of you that are worried about our kids- don't. Santa will still visit them, but we have also asked Santa to scale it back a bit this year and send his extra funds to Serbia. Santa agreed this was a great idea. We also will not be sending out gifts to family members. We are also nixing the neighborhood cookie tray. Instead, you'll get an ornament with Jovan's picture, and a donation made in your name to his grant fund at Reece's rainbow. Interested in following along? I hope so! this can literally change the life of this child. A larger grant fund means a better chance at finding a forever family. A forever family means letting this sweet, smart little boy reach his FULL potential. Can't you just see him playing cars with his brothers, chasing the family dog, learning to read? Heck, with that face, I bet he'd make a great little movie star! follow this link http://www.reecesrainbow.com/angeltree.htm then click on the Waiting Angels Gallery to make a donation for Jovan. If another child grabs your heart and your wallet, by all means, sponsor them too! The goal for each child is $1,000 in their grant fund. One child has already met that goal! It's all very exciting.
So, Why adopt? and why adopt an older child with a special need? Here are some of my own, personal reasons.

"You must be the change you want to see in the world."
- Mahatma Gandhi

"Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish. " Matthew 18:14

"Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction..." James 1:27

"And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me." Matt 18:5

"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth."
1 John 3:16

"Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Matthew 25:34-40

"But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself..." Leviticus 19:34

"Let brotherly love continue.
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." Hebrews 13:1-2

and one of my personal favorites- I always say my mom taught me everything I know about loving Children.

"All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother."
- Abraham Lincoln

Thanks to all my friends and family for their love and support!

BUDDY WALK 2007!!

2007-10-30T13:45:00.000-07:00

I failed miserably in my quest to blog every day in Oct. Sorry to all my loyal fans. You knew I wouldn't make it, didn't you? I'm too much of a procrastinator. Anyway, about our Buddy walk... I really wanted to go to the Buddy Walk this year, but wasn't sure I could do it, emotionally. Last year we definitely could not make it. Emotions were still way too raw after losing precious Jacob. But I LOVE the founder of Sharing Down Syndrome, Arizona! http://www.sharingds.org/ Gina Johnson is such a kind, generous, totally wacky (in a good way) Lady, and she works so hard on the Buddy Walk that we really wanted to support her. Plus, she sent us a very generous donation for our adoption fund. So, while I was a little nervous that I would break down and cry, we all went to the Buddy Walk. I invited my friend Carrie and her family as well. I am so glad we went. it was great. It was nice to be among "my people" :o)

We had 2 signs- one with Jacob's picture that said "in memory of sweet Jacob" and another with a picture of Aunika that said "In anticipation of beautiful Aunika". I am always hesitant to share with other parents of children with DS that our sweet boy passed away. I don't think any of us really like to face the mortality of our children. That is why I have stayed away from our DS group for a while. But waiting for our little Aunika has strengthened me once more. I call her the happy ending to Jacob's story. Though I don't really think she'll be the end! Jacob has started something in this family, and we will bring as many sweet children with DS into our home as we feel we can handle. I am so blessed to have such a great husband who is on the same page as me. We both feel strongly driven to adopt special needs kids. It is nice to have him by my side. He is priceless!

I don't think I've ever blogged about Carrie. I am not a person that makes girlfriends easily. I never have been. I was always such a tomboy. But Carrie and I click. I met her not long after we moved here. She was a foster mom, and when I told her my husband and I were thinking of becoming foster parents, that is all it took. She gently pushed and prodded and poked until we finally had our license. And look where we are now! All of our little blessings (our munchkins) have come because of this. Our licensing worker came to visit us before we had any placements to ask us about the kind of children we wanted in our home. We weren't picky! but we did share with her our deep love for children with Down Syndrome. About 3 days later, we got our first placements. Little Terry and Abe as they were known at the time. Two beautiful boys now called Landon and Luke that will be ours forever! 11 days after we got the boys, my licensing worker (Kelli) called me with news that would change our lives forever! There was a sweet boy with Down Syndrome that needed a permanent home. We met our Jacob on the day he turned one month old, and the rest is history! After losing Jacob, we missed his sweet spirit in our home, which led us to research DS adoptions, leading us to Aunika. So all this, because my lovely friend Carrie wouldn't let us give up or put off our dream of fostering/ adopting. She is one of my heroes, and will be a life long friend. She and her husband have fostered many, and were finally able to adopt the sibling set of 4 you see in the picture. They are 6, 5, 4, and 3. The baby is 7 months old (not a bio sibling) and hopefully he will be joining their family forever also. What a lucky girl I am to have such a wonderful friend. Really she is more of a sister. We tell people we are sisters all the time. I love this Woman!

2007-10-29T22:57:00.000-07:00

This is the pumpkin the boys carved. mostly they just enjoyed poking it, and playing with the goop from the insides. Daddy finally cut a standard pumpkin face on it. Because of the many pokes and scrapes on it, it only lasted a couple of days, but they had to keep the light lit as much as I would let them. They were quite proud of their creation!

We have been contemplating adding a second dog to the family. I have always wanted a second dog. Hopefully Ladybug will allow that. She is the boss. She is SUCH a good dog, that we don't want to ruin it. I really think she would enjoy having a companion, though. We have looked at a couple, but haven't found "the one" yet. We'll see how that all turns out. We are in no hurry.

We had lunch with Gordon (aka- Donald Sutherland) on Friday. He was the boys caseworker when they were in the foster unit. Always good to keep the caseworkers on your good side. He will be on the lookout for us for another addition to our family. We told him we didn't care if it was a boy or girl, or if the child had special needs, we just want a placement that is very likely to be permanent! We will wait for new foster placements until after we get back from Serbia. perhaps even until we move into the new house. But, you never know. Here is the house at it's current stage. The back yard is so much bigger. We are looking forward to having all the space. 5 bedrooms and a huge play room! yay! We are working on filling up the bedrooms!

So much more to write, but it will have to wait for another post.

Strawberry Fields Forever: Ode to my sister LeAnn

2007-10-21T23:11:00.000-07:00

My older sister (much, much older) noticed that I hadn't written about her in my blog. Silly me. She asked for it! My Much Older sister LeAnn(who is a gorgeous Strawberry Blonde, hence the blog title) is the best. She is my kids' favorite aunt. And to any other sisters reading this, I'm sorry, but it's true. She works hard at the title of favorite aunt. You are all beloved, she is just the belovedest. LaRee ran a good campaign with the quiet book, Lyndee enthralled the boys with her puppy, and Lisa, well, she fixes airplanes which the boys think is pretty darn cool. But LeAnn is "IT". They ask nearly daily to got to "aunt nan's" house. It helps that she has come to visit a lot more, so the boys just know her better. I used to compete with her for the Favorite Aunt title. Just ask any of the older nieces and nephews. We'd each call them and say "Hi, this is your favorite aunt" then make them guess which of us it was. I am finding out now that we traumatized a few of them with this stunt. But finally I was defeated. LeAnn wins. Seriously. She IS the best aunt. Perhaps I better explain my family dymanics for those of you unfortunate strangers to my wild and wacky family. My mom had 10 children. 5 girls and 5 boys. There is a 25 year span between the oldest and youngest in my family. I am #6. being a middle child in such a large family is the BEST! I love it. I first became an Aunt when I was 9 (shout out to beautiful Andrea, my first born niece). Holy Schmokes, I loved my little nieces and nephews. Still do. And my younger sibs are pretty great as well. Todd was the next closest to me in age, so we fought a lot. I think it is the law, for you to have to fight with at least one of your siblings. We also played together the most, so I suppose it all works out in the end. But the other 3 were enough younger than me that I felt "motherly" toward them, and doted on them. My older sibs all adored me (admit it) except for maybe Lisa. Again, she was the one closest in age older than me, so we tended to fight a bit. All that is long since forgotten, and we became great friends by the time She was about 15-16. But I digress. LeAnn. Yes. Well, she is also my favorite sister. Again, sorry to all reading whom this might offend, but she has worked hard at the title. Admit it, she's your favorite sister, too (besides me, of course). here is a brief rundown of the sibs.

*LaRee, the eldest, mother of 4, "The Boss". She is the most creative with things other people would throw away, and the one to call when you need someone to go to battle for you.

*Danny, father of 2, extrememly talented artist and wood worker, and some of my favorite memories of my childhood include him

*LeAnn, mother of 3, favorite sister/aunt, and is a "Do-er". You need it done, call her. Has helped me through countless rough moments, Unintentionally funny (you know it's true) which makes it even funnier. Easiest to talk to, laugh with, etc. The "glue" in our family

*Darin, father of 6, and a great dad to his children, which makes me respect him even more, resident genius, most fun to watch a stupid movie with (don't EVEN get me started on High School Musical)

*Lisa, mother of 2, Most independent, and definitely the wittiest. The one to call when you need a laugh. SO much fun to have an adventure with (Starcon? Rennaissance festival?)

*ME, mom to 3 soon to be 4, the tallest girl (6'), best at most embarrasing moments. (except for ONE incident with LeAnn and Santa Claus)

*Todd, newlywed, Father to beautiful Crimson, Tallest boy, I think, though they are all tall. very clever and Extrememely handy to have around if something breaks (especially electronics- very handy)

*Mark, great student, soon to graduate College, most talented artist. Kind hearted, so much fun to be around- very creative mind. His friends count themselves lucky.

*Lyndee, mom to be (in March, I think), the baby girl. Sweetest, most tender hearted. She has amazing talent and patience when working with the disabled. She is a true gift to this family.

*Brent, "The baby". So funny, smart, and a gifted writer. I still haven't quite forgiven him for moving away from AZ. I loved my "Brent weekends". He assures me he'll move back if we can figure out a way to move the entire city of Seattle with him. Any ideas, anyone? I'll entertain any viable option!

Okay, maybe my rundown wasn't so brief, but it's my blog and I'll do what I want to. Just wait until I do my Ode to my mother.

So now that you know more about my family than you ever wanted to, I'll re-cap.

1- LeAnn is the favorite. in everything.

2- all other sibs are pretty darn great as well, just slightly less great than LeAnn

3- something about glue

4- Darin's deep and abiding love for High School Musical

5- Santa's deep and abiding fear of LeAnn

6- The relocation of Seattle

I should get some sleep.

Oh, by the way, My sweet Luke told me I was "cute". Coming tomorrow: pictures of the Boys' jack-o'-lantern.

And I Love Her

2007-10-12T10:16:00.000-07:00

Salmon swim upstream to have their babies. It is a long and difficult journey, and sometimes they get bashed against the rocks. Adoption is similar, and I feel like we've just been bashed up against a rock. Kasia's agency feels like it is in her best interest to re-list her as available, in order to get her a family as soon as possible. We do not blame them, and told them we understand the concept of giving up a child to do what is best for them. As adoptive parents, that is what we are constantly asking birth parents to do. This all came about because they asked if we had a travel date for Serbia yet. We don't ...and we don't even have a time frame. This is extremely frustrating for us, but it is not something we are in control of. We love little Kasia, and hope she can find a family soon. We also hope with some part of us, that she will still be available when we get home from Serbia, so we can re-apply for her. I hope this all doesn't come out wrong. It wasn't the "big, bad agency" vs. the spencer family. It was a mutual decision based on what is best for Kasia. We have no problem with the agency, and truly hope to work with them in the future, either for Kasia's adoption, or for another child. But we are still hurting. A girl we love may find another family. And for anyone reading this that may be interested in pursuing her adoption--- don't feel bad, or guilty. Please, give this beautiful girl a permanent home. For anyone who doesn't wish to pursue her adoption, please pray for her to find the family she needs.

2007-10-11T11:32:00.000-07:00

Having boys is so much fun! They have been outside playing and Landon came tearing into the house yelling "MOM, MOM, Come here! There's a lizard in our bucket!" They have a big toy bucket outside. I was alway quite a tomboy and had made pets of lizards, snakes, rats, etc. so these things don't bother me. We carefully emptied the toys out of the bucket, and there was a cute little gecko. I grabbed him so the boys could have a closer look. I asked if they wanted to touch him, and Luke decided Landon needed to go first. they both just gave him a quick one finger pet on the head. We caught a couple of these a few months back, and put them in a little clear plastic home and fed them meal worms for a while. The boys enjoyed watching them and learning about them. We let them go after a month or two. They must be easiest to catch at this size. the tiny ones are too fast, and the bigger ones are too smart. Anyway, we let this one go, but it gave the boys a little thrill for a while.

2007-10-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a beautiful, happy day. Luke is ours Forever! We love this boy. Landon was so good at understanding why it wasn't his turn yet. We told him we had to wait for the judge to say it was ok, and that was enough for him. He got to go play at a friends house while we were in the temple.

It just feels so GOOOD to have this all done! He is OURS. I can't
get over how good it feels to say that!

2007-10-08T20:44:00.000-07:00

I've learned my lesson the hard way on why we keep the Sabbath day Holy. I Believe this is a true principle, and I'm pretty good at applying it-- most of the time. Yesterday there was one load of laundry left that I hadn't gotten to on Saturday. I knew Monday was going to be hectic with getting the bedrooms empty for new carpet, then re-filling the bedrooms again. Tuesday was going to be nuts with having the in-laws come into town, and having Luke sealed to us in the Temple (a religious ceremony that binds him to our family FOREVER-visit www.mormon.org for more info. It is the way we "finalize" his adoption in a religious manner). And a pair of pants I wanted was in that last load of laundry. So, while I don't typically don't do laundry on the Sabbath day, I had rationalized it enough in my head to just throw in this one load. Well--- my washer broke. right between the wash and rinse cycle. So the drum was still full of water. and everything still had soap in it. Oh, joy. We were planning on buying a new washer by this summer, and we really would have preferred this one lasted until then. But, I guess I had a lesson to learn. an expensive one at that.

2007-10-06T20:41:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to post today. I had a dream last night that we were in Serbia, and I was snuggling Elena, and playing with her hair, and Jasmina walked up and told me we couldn't have her. She gave us a different child, and Elena was right there! no explanation. I just cried and cried. ugh. that was horrible. I am anxious to hear about our girl.

I am posting a pic of our new flooring. it is very nice. We are happy with it so far. We get the bedrooms done on monday.

it has been crazy getting it all done around evreything else we have going on.

2007-10-06T00:52:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it? I didn't take a single picture of last night's gotcha party! I am so bummed, and somewhat perplexed as to how i could have forgotten such an important thing. but it was fun anyway. We had costco pizza and oreos! i didnt want to do a lot of cooking, and didn't want a pot-luck. We even saw the Huff family, who are also adopting from Serbia. Their little guy is now 10 months old, and also has DS. Luke managed to get away from us without our knowledge, and right when I was starting to get freaked out about not being able to find him, a nice lady that he had followed brought him back to us. SHEESH!! the kid had been legally ours for 7 hours, and we are already losing him! I am going to plant a tracking device in that kids scalp! he definitely has wander lust. And then today we had to empty out the living and family room for new carpeting. Yay!! it looks great, and matches the new tile well. That is why I am just now blogging- just barely got the computer back together. We decided to switch things around a little for fun. Well, I am exhausted from furniture moving all day, so Off to bed!

All You Need is Love

2007-10-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

Today is Luke's "gotcha" day! We finalized his adoption this morning! Feels so good to know this boy is ours. We are having a party this evening, so I'll post more pictures tomorrow. this is one of us with our attorney. Wahooooo!!!! His full legal name is now Luke Aaron Spencer! And boy is he a typical 2 year old! He wanted out of that court room, out of that suit, and to be rolling around in the dirt! that is why we are having a party at the park, instead of our house (hopefully anyway-- at the moment it is threatening to rain. Rain would be nice, though). that will give him plenty of room to run and play! This is a GREAT day!!

Free As a Bird

2007-10-03T11:28:00.000-07:00

So, something I didn't tell a lot of people before hand is that when Landon's case worker told us that severance had been granted the first time, He was jumping the gun a little. He thought severance had been granted, but it hadn't yet. Today we got OFFICIAL word that it has been granted. Such a relief! We already started calling him Landon, so we are set! When we get to finalize depends on how many levels of appeals the birth dad goes through. Luke's bio dad went through all the appeals, and it took 14 months! We'll see. anyway-- Official Good News!!

This Boy

2007-10-02T11:04:00.000-07:00

In an effort to blog every day of October, in honor of Down Syndrome Awareness, I will write something funny Luke did a while back. In August, my oldest sister LaRee was here for a short visit. They had dropped off my nephew Colton T. in Flagstaff to begin college, and then came down to Mesa to see us. One evening we were all over at my brother's house relaxing, and the kids were all playing. Luke and Sawyer were playing with a doll house of Eriana's. Luke leans down to the window of the doll house and says "ummm, I'll have a hamburger please". We all laughed so hard. Time for mommy to stop making so many stops at the Wendy's drive-up window!

Here is a picture of Andrea, Shiloh, LaRee, Colton T.

Love Me Do

2007-10-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

Welcome to October!! Down Syndrome Awareness Month, and also my personal favorite month of the year. It may have something to do with the fact that my mom was a Halloween nut. She loved to transform our house every year. It was always so fun. I love the changing colors on the trees (though I just have to imagine them now-- these pesky trees in too-warm-Arizona don't change colors). I just returned a couple of days ago from Wyoming. I got to see some pretty autumn colors there.

My brother got married, and his new wife Jennifer chose Fall colors as her wedding theme. Loved it!

I also got to meet Crimson, their 6 month old daughter, for the first time. She is so pretty! My boys were in awe of her. she was a lot of fun to be around, such a happy baby! After the wedding, we stayed with my mom (a.k.a. Grandma Bear) for a week to spend some time with our family there. The boys love being around family! They got pretty spoiled. They loved every minute of it. We went to a "jam session" at the senior center with Grandma Clair. The boys loved the music, and got up to dance with mom and grandma. Todd and Jen came with Crimson. Here is a picture of her with Grandma Clair. A couple of funny things the boys did while in WY.... One night while helping Luke say his prayers, I said "now tell Heavenly Father what you're thankful for". He said... "Um.... Emma and Jakey's house" (his friends- my best friends kids). I said "good, what else?" ummmm.... Grandma's house. "good, Luke. anything else?" ummmmm..... Home Depot. (snicker, snicker) "good, Luke! " (note to self, tell Scott what a huge influence he is on the boys!) It was so cute. Then another night, mom went to get in some comfortable clothes, and came back out in some pretty silky pajamas. Terry literally gasped and said "oh grandma bear, you look BEAUTIFUL!!" My heart just swelled at this sweet boys words. every grandma needs to hear how beautiful she is! It made mom feel pretty good. Here is my favorite picture of my mom with Todd after his wedding.

On the adoption homefront- NO NEWS. blah. I want some news. I want to rush off to Serbia and bring home our little princess. I want her to be HOME for the Buddy Walk (ours is Oct. 27), but there is just no way that is going to happen. With any luck, we'll be in Serbia on that date. For any strangers to the Buddy Walk, it is to promote Down Syndrome Awareness. visit the website for National Down Syndrome Society for more info, or the site for our local organization - Sharing Down Syndrome Arizona - to sponsor a Buddy Walk team.

2007-09-20T09:31:00.000-07:00

The boys are being little goofs this morning. While eating breakfast, Luke dropped his sippy cup full of milk. I said "Landon, will you get Luke's milk for him, then say 'here you go, you little nut'." So Landon does as he's told, then Luke, without being prompted says "Thank you, you little nut!". it was perfect. Luke is getting used to saying Landon, and he says it quite well. He still calls his brother "ninny" a lot, but he's getting it. If Scott or I dare to call him Terry, he is quick to remind us that he is Landon now!

We are getting ready to go to WY for my brother Todd's wedding. The boys and I fly out tomorrow, and stay for a week to have some much needed "grandma bear" time. The boys will be spoiled, I have no doubt. Lots of aunts and uncles there to do the job, not to mention grandma bear and grandma clair. They also get to meet their cousin Crimson for the first time. Luke loves babies, so this will be fun. He wants a little sister named Ella (he is fascinated with the movie Ella Enchanted) and another one named Lilo! He also thinks when Aunika comes, she'll be a baby. I keep showing him pictures and try to convince him that she is a big girl, but he doesn't believe me. She will certainly be his "baby" sister, no matter what. Luke has learned from Landon how to be a good big brother, and both boys will be protective of their little sister. We are still waiting to hear from Serbia on a travel date. Jasmina tells me constantly to be patient, but I am getting so anxious! Also, Poland is still re-reviewing our case. blah! haven't heard yet from them. They already told us "yes" once, but I guess they thought we were coming to Poland first. No can do. we are too far along in the process with Serbia. I don't understand their hesitation. Katarzyna would still be coming into the exact same family dynamic as she was before, only we will have Aunika here first. I will not get too excited over it right now. I think they'll come around. Well, off to do laundry and pack!

Good Day Sunshine

2007-09-08T11:18:00.000-07:00

WAHOOOOO!!! We were granted severance on Terry! Now we can start calling him Landon! We've talked with him a lot about the change over the past year, and he seems very positive about it. He has asked me many times if his name can be Landon now. Once he told me, "Mom, for my birthday, I want to be Landon." All I could say was I wanted him to be Landon for his birthday also. So last night after we got the word, I pulled him onto my lap and asked him if it would be okay to start calling him Landon now. He said "YEAH!!! and lets go get a birthday cake!" man that kid has a good memory. We went out and got a milkshake instead. We told him his birthday wasn't for 2 more months, but that he gets to be Landon forever now! We are so excited. This has been a long battle. We will still have all the appeals to go through, but hopefully they will go fast.

We love this boy! can't wait to have it final!

Yesterday

2007-09-05T15:39:00.001-07:00

We got some GREAT news yesterday. First we heard from our attorney for Luke. All his appeals are over! we get to finalize! She was hoping to get us a court date for Sept. 20, but I just found out it won't be until Oct. 4. That is OK. We have waited this long, we can wait a little longer.
THEN....
We got news that Poland approved us to adopt little 4 year old Katarzyna (Kasia for short). So we will hopefully have 2 little girls home for Christmas. We are just jumping up and down. Now to figure out the practical stuff- like how to pay for it, how to be gone from our kids for 2 jaunts out of the country, etc. But where there is a will there is a way. We never seem to do things the easy way. This picture of her is about a year old. She turned 4 in April. She looks like she'll is full of mischief!

Paperback Writer

2007-08-18T23:40:00.001-07:00

My days of doing paperwork are over! At least for this adoption. Serbia has all our paperwork!!! Jasmina from the orphanage emailed me and said they have everything, and it looks good!! of course, the ministry has to agree, but one step closer. It will be translated, then go to the ministry. I am so excited. we feel so much closer to getting our sweet daughter.

We can work it out

2007-08-17T10:06:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of cute Daniel, Scott's baby brother. I love it when he comes to visit!

So we started the boys on chore charts. If they do their chore , they get a sticker. I just came out to the living room and Luke was methodically removing the stickers from Terry's chart, and putting them on his own. I guess that is one way to get your chart full! Luke has been so very 2 today. And I keep reminding myself I am going halfway around the world to bring home another 2 year old. They keep you busy, but they sure are fun. Terry had a visit today with birth father. He came home with 3 dollars in his pocket. usually when he comes home with something, there is a big fight between him and Luke for it. But today, he willingly shared and gave Luke a dollar. that was really sweet. Later, they had some Teddy Grahams for snacks, and Terry ate all his first, while Luke would eat one, go play a while, eat one.... etc. So Terry came and asked me if he could eat Luke's. I told him no, Luke was getting around to it. Later, Luke was sitting on my lap playing, and Terry came in and said Luke shared his snack with him. I said "did he really share, or did you just take them". Luke quickly said- "It's okay mommy, it's okay. I shared with Ninny (that's how he says Terry's name)" I am so glad they are having a sharing kind of day.

Got to get you into my life

2007-08-16T09:55:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we found out it may be possible for us to adopt a 4 year old girl in Poland with Down Syndrome. She is a girl we had inquired about a while back, but they told us "no" because Poland likes for the adopted child to become the youngest in the family. Stupid rule in my opinion. We even tried using the excuse that these boys are still in legal state's custody, and don't "belong" to us yet. They still said no. I got an email yesterday saying they are reconsidering. They have decided maybe they need to be a bit more lenient with special needs children, and that the youngest child rule should only apply to biological children of the adopting family. YAY! We have still not gotten a final "yes", but we are hopeful. It just feels like she belongs here. Her name is Kasia. Slooks like she's a little spit fire. She has dark brown hair and Electric Blue eyes. Such a little doll.

Daniel came to visit last night. He'll be here for 2 weeks. He is so much fun to be around. Last night at prayer time, after the boys said their prayers, We asked Daniel to say the family prayer. When he was done, Luke said "good boy, Daniel!" It was so cute. Then this morning while the boys were eating breakfast, luke was looking at a package of wipes that had a picture of a baby on it. He pointed to it and said "that's Ookie". That is how he says his name - Ookie. He is doing really well with his "L" sounds, except in his own name. anyway, after he said that, Terry said "no Luke, that's not you. That baby is white, and you are brown". It is so interesting when they start noticing the difference. We tell him that God "upgraded" them to a lovely shade of brown. They are such beautiful boys, they could be green with purple polka dots and they'd still be beautiful.

We also decided to sponsor a boy in Africa so he can go to school. His name is Aristide, and I included his picture. He is so handsome! He will be entering the 9th grade. I found him through the website for Until All Have Homes. That is the site we initially found Elena on, so I trust them. When they say 100% of the money goes to the child, they mean it. We are busy saving every penny for our upcoming adoptions (hopefully there will be 2), but I kept having such a strong feeling that if we continued to give, the Lord would continue to bless us, and we'd be able to have the money needed to adopt. It's another one of those "feel your way" kind of things. I hope I can continue to "feel" my way through these adoptions.

Here's hoping we have 2 girls home by Christmas!!

Baby You Can Drive My Car

2007-08-13T09:46:00.000-07:00

If laughter is truly the best medicine, parents should never get sick. My kids crack me up. Out of the blue this morning, Terry said "mom, can you teach me how to drive?" yeah right! funny kid. beep beep,mmm beep beep, YAH!!

We have also decided to step up potty training with Luke. Yesterday, he was going into his typical "hide" mode because he had to poop. I grabbed him and put him on the potty, and he actually pooped in the toilet! it was very exciting. How nice would it be if he was potty trained before Aunika came home?
We didn't get to finalize Luke on Aug. 9 :( Now we have to wait some more. It should be done by the end of the year for sure. Final court for Terry is TOMORROW! I get nervous. The judge may make a decision tomorrow, or she may take up to 60 days to do so. I hope it is sooner rather than later.

Here Comes the Sun

2007-07-13T20:35:00.000-07:00

Fast forward to present day..... We are in the process of adopting Abe, who we now call Luke. We will hopefully finalize on Aug.9, 2007!! yay! Terry also still lives here, but we won't find out about adoption possibilities until fall. And... We are also adopting a sweet little girl from Serbia who is almost 2 years old, and has Down Syndrome!! We are very excited. We should be going to Serbia this fall sometime. We did get a bit of bad news, though. We had wanted to adopt 2 DS children from Serbia at the same time, but we got news yesterday that they were not going to allow this. :( It is ridiculous. There is no reason not to let us, other than they just have never allowed it before, and why start now. So, we'll find our next child in a different country. Or maybe right here at home. you never know. anyway, her current name is Elena, and we will call her Aunika after she gets home. Such a pretty little girl! I can't wait to snuggle her. Jacob was so precious to us, that we knew we wanted to adopt another child with DS. And Luke did 2 adorable things today I wanted to record. He came in the bathroom just as I was getting out of the shower. I had the towel around me, but my legs and feet still had water on them. Luke grabbed a clean washrag and kneeled down and started drying my legs and feet. It was so sweet. It reminded me of when Jesus washed his disciples feet. It really touched me. He was so serious about it! Then later in the day, just he and I were in the van. we were singing Popcorn Popping. Well, it was mostly a solo by me, but when I finished, Luke said "Good boy, mommy! Good boy!" it was so cute. I thanked him appropriately. Terry has had a rough week. I can't wait until visits with bio dad are done! He bit Luke on the arm tonight. He has just been extra whiney and defiant lately. Poor kid doesn't know what is going on.

Hello, Goodbye

2007-07-13T02:19:00.000-07:00

this will be my effort at wrapping up the past. We met precious Jacob on Tuesday, signed papers on Wednesday, and brought him home Thursday! How is that for 0-3 kids in two weeks! He was fed with an NG tube (from his nose to his stomach), so we quickly learned how to care for him, and the other babies. We had quite the routine down. Jacob was always the "easy one". So happy, and just content. He even slept through the night. I don't want to drag it all out too much and make it more painful than it already is. Sixteen days past his first birthday, our Sweet Jacob passed away. Look at that sweet face. I miss seeing him, holding him, hearing him babble. My arms still physically ache to hold him. I want to smell his sweet baby skin again. I never knew sorrow could cause such physical pain. What a ray of sunshine he was. This is much harder than I thought. I can't even write more about that right now.

Till There Was You

2007-07-10T10:57:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm......where to begin. Clear at the beginning? Nah, too far back. how about a brief synopsis. After 9 fun yet childless years of marriage, my husband and I decided to be foster parents. First we got Terry, age 2.5, followed 2 days later by baby brother Abe, age 2 months. They were adorable and we loved them instantly. We were certain they would eventually go back to their birth mom, but we loved them like they were ours in the meantime. a short week and a half later, our licensing worker called and said they had a 1 month old baby boy with Down Syndrome available for adoption, and would we be interested. Uh, YEAH!!! My husband and I have a special place in our hearts for children with DS. Scott's baby brother has DS and we adore him. We were so excited about adopting such a special boy, and also a little frightened. We met the birth mom the next day. She felt comfortable with us immediately, and asked us to be precious little Jacob's family. Then we got to go to the hospital and meet our new SON!!! It was very exciting/scary/overwhelming/etc. We looked at that face, and saw those CHEEKS!! Oh, what a precious boy. So much for the BRIEF synopsis. This may take many days to finish, before I can even start writing about our current event. Oh, well. Stay tuned.....